Chief Shepherd
by nirkleton
Summary: My re-write of Season 7, starting 6 months after the shooting.  Meredith and Derek are trying for a baby... but there may be some complications, and if there are, how will they handle them? Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1  My Command

**DISCLAIMER: Obviously Grey's Anatomy isn't mine, because if it was, I wouldn't be sitting here at my laptop, I'd be living in the Bahamas lounging with some hot guy in a spa. **

Chapter One; My Command

Meredith rolled onto her side, feeling for Derek on 'his side' of the mattress. Instead of meeting his warm chest, she instead found herself clutching the cool sheets. It took a couple of minutes, and then she remembered that he was away. She hated all the conferences he had to attend as chief, but she definitely understood why he had to go. Since the shooting, the hospital's reputation had suffered and Derek's networking at these conferences was inspiring some of the world's most well-known surgeons to moonlight at Seattle Grace – Mercy West (or SGMW as they referred to it usually). The most recent addition to his star-studded list had been Doctor Preston Burke, who had recently won his second Harper Avery award, for his work in atrial reconstructions. Of course Cristina was far from impressed, but it did warrant a few newspaper articles about SGMW "regaining its footing after a trying six months".

This was beside the point, Meredith realised as she still held the cold sheets. The point was that Derek wasn't here, and this was the fourth morning in a row that she'd woken up to an empty bed, and no morning sex, or shower sex, or a quickie on the kitchen counter during breakfast. She could deal with it for a weekend, but by the fourth day she was beginning to get crabby. Luckily, Derek was due to return today and Meredith knew that he would be looking forward to being home just as much as she was looking forward to having him there.

She reluctantly rolled over, and stumbled out of bed, walking into the shower where she used her favourite lavender shampoo before walking downstairs and leaving the house, with a travel cup of coffee and a chocolate-chip cookie clenched between her teeth. She waved at Lucy, their trusty Labrador and got into the jeep, driving onto the ferry and across Seattle to SGMW. As she wandered into the residents lounge, she saw Cristina sitting cross-legged on the floor. She plonked herself down, and lay her head on Cristina's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Cristina asked, flipping through a patient's chart.  
"Nothing," Meredith mumbled through a mouthful of hot coffee.  
"Is it work?"  
"No."  
"Is it your dog?"  
"Lucy's fine."  
"Well, if it's not work or your McDog, then I have to assume it's about McDreamy."  
"Day number four of no sex," grumbled Meredith.  
"Have you guys never had a dry spell?" Izzie asked from across the room.  
"A dry spell is what happens when Derek has early surgery and there's no time for a quickie in the morning. Four days isn't a dry spell, it's a drought. A sexless drought."  
"Okay Mer," Izzie cleared her throat. "We get it. You have a lot of sex."  
"Eurgh, no." Meredith sighed. "That's not really the problem. I don't know, I'm just feeling like crap. I've got this stupid headache and I'm feeling nauseous."  
"At least we know it's not appendicitis," Alex quipped.  
"Do you think you could be pregnant?" Izzie asked excitedly. "You guys have been trying, right?"  
"I just got off my period Iz," Meredith muttered. "I'm not pregnant. I'm just sick, and lonely and sexually dissatisfied."

Later in the day, after Meredith instructed all her interns in their menial tasks, she made her way up to Derek's office and let herself in, where she promptly lay down and fell asleep on the couch. The next thing she sensed was a cool hand stroking her hair and a voice that sounded uncannily like Derek's, asking how she was feeling. She fluttered open her eyelids, and saw Derek standing there.  
"Der," she exclaimed quietly, wincing as the nausea took over once more.  
"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned for his very pale wife.  
"Just a little sick. Nothing major," she said, before looking startled and grabbing a nearby waste basket.  
"It's time for you to go home," Derek told her after she finished expelling the contents of her stomach into the bin. "You're too sick to be here."  
"I'm fine," Meredith complained. "I just missed you."  
"I missed you too," he replied with a smile. "I'll ask Webber to cover for me, and I'll take you home so you can sleep in our bed. Just let me sort out a few things and I'll be right down in the lobby."  
"I'll grab my bag," Meredith muttered. "See you soon, Der."  
He leaned down to kiss her, but she pushed his face away.  
"Vomit breath," she said, as way of explanation.  
"I can handle the vomit breath," he replied, kissing her gently. "I missed my wife."  
"And I missed you too," she said, returning his kiss and then leaving the room.

Ten minutes later, Derek had gotten Webber to cover the rest of his day and Meredith had proceeded to throw up twice more. They drove home in silence, leaving the jeep in the parking lot so that Meredith could sleep. When they got to the door of their beautiful home, built on Derek's land, Derek carried her across the threshold and up to their bed where she slept fitfully for a few hours. He woke her to give her a glass of water and a piece of dry toast, before leaving her once more. She slept through the night, and then woke up early in the morning, feeling much better but utterly exhausted.

"Good morning beautiful," Derek smiled, already sitting up in bed and reading yesterday's newspaper.  
"Morning," Mer croaked, pushing her blonde hair out of her face.  
"Feeling better?"  
"Much. I'm really tired but at least I no longer feel like I'm going to puke all over my annoying interns."  
"Well, as much as they deserve to be puked on, I'm glad you're feeling better," Derek replied. "I already called Richard and asked for another day off work, and a day of sick leave for you. Now you can feel free to go back to sleep, or you could shower? I could bring you some breakfast if you're hungry."  
"Sleep," Meredith mumbled. "Sleep is good."

By the time she woke up, six hours later, she felt utterly refreshed and almost as good as new. She could smell something cooking downstairs and she felt well enough to explore and find out what Derek was cooking.  
"Hey," Derek smiled, seeing her walk into the kitchen. "You look much better now."  
"Oh gee thanks," Meredith laughed dryly. "I think you look awesome too."  
"You know what I mean," Derek sighed, pulling her close and kissing her. "Ready for lunch?"  
"Definitely. I'm actually feeling pretty good. I'll see how this food goes."

Derek served her a plate of ricotta ravioli and a tomato-based Napoli sauce, sprinkling on a little parmesan before passing it over.  
"Yum," Meredith smiled. "Thanks Der. You're probably the best husband I've had."  
"Oh really?" he laughed. "Who are the other contenders?"  
"Well surgery, obviously, but that's not nearly as fun to come home to," she grinned. "I think your main competition is Danny Sharp."  
"Danny Sharp? Sounds a little scary," Derek teased.  
"Oh Danny and I had great chemistry. He stole my sandwich and so I poured his chocolate milk on the ground. The next day he gave me a piece of strawberry chewing gum and told me he loved me. So we got married and lived happily ever after... until he moved to Oregon and took custody of the strawberry Hubba Bubba."  
"How old exactly were you and Danny?" Derek asked.  
"I was seven. He was six."  
"Oh, cradle-snatcher."  
"Shut up Der."

She ate some of the pasta, and it settled well, the feelings of nausea stayed away and she smiled at Derek encouragingly.  
"Thank-you, that's just what I needed."  
"Well that's what I'm here for, dear. Anything else you need?"

She stood up from the table and pulled him up to stand next to her.  
"Well," she said coyly, reaching a hand down between them to unzip his fly. "I could really do with some TLC right now."  
"Are you sure?" Derek asked, concerned.  
Meredith pulled off her ratty Dartmouth shirt, standing before him in nothing more than a pair of very tiny black panties, the ones that she'd lost in the dirty exam room sex.  
"I'm definitely sure," she said, kissing him once more.  
"Your wish," Derek said, picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. "Is my command."


	2. Chapter 2 Declarations

**DISCLAIMER: Obviously Grey's Anatomy isn't mine, because if it was, I would see Patrick Dempsey every single day and be bragging about it. **

_I am Australian, so please keep that in mind when you read words such as "favourite" or "mum" - It's too difficult to monitor that stuff and revert to American English, so I'm keeping my Aussie roots despite the American setting of Grey's Anatomy. _

Chapter Two; Declarations

Derek had been back for almost a month now, and there were no conferences in the near future, so Meredith was taking full advantage of having him all to herself. They spent hours walking Lucy in the woods, or Derek fished in the lake while Meredith read on the shore or they just enjoyed scrubbing in together on a craniotomy or two. Today was the day that all the residents were declaring their specialties, and although Derek the Husband already knew she was declaring neurosurgery, Derek the Chief Shepherd needed to hear it officially. Meredith and Derek left the house together, driving across the ferry and over to SGMW.

"Do you want to go first?" Derek asked Meredith as they walked into the hospital hand in hand.  
"Nope," Meredith laughed. "I'm going last. Ask Izzie or Alex."  
"Izzie it is," Derek replies, kissing her gently. "Any bets?"  
"Izzie will be neonatal or obstetrics. Alex is going paeds. George for trauma, definitely. Cristina... well, do I even need to say it? I think Jackson will go general, or maybe ortho. "  
"And April?"  
"Neuro," Meredith sighs. "She's still freaking infatuated with you."  
"Well," Derek whispers in her ear as they enter the elevator. "You know I've only got my eyes on one resident."  
"George," Meredith sighed, giggling quietly. "I always knew you were coming out of the closet. That hair just isn't the hair of a heterosexual male."  
"Meredith! I thought you liked the hair!"  
"I do, you big goof," Meredith teases, kissing him. "But now I have to go, I can see Cristina motioning for me."

She left the elevator, and Derek, behind, crossing the hall to the residents locker room where Cristina was standing gesturing wildly.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked, sidling up to Cristina.  
"I need a freaking tampon. I can't believe I left mine at home."  
"I don't have any," Meredith replied, looking confused. "Why did you even ask me? Izzie's the one with the major stash of food or soap or whatever. I'm sure she's got a tampon or two."  
"Well if I'm on my period, then you must be too," Cristina mutters. "We're in sync, so I just assumed."  
Cristina shakes her head and wanders off towards Izzie, while Meredith stands there, staring at her back. She opens her mouth, and closes it again, counting the days in her head.  
"Cristina!" she calls loudly.  
"What?" Cristina replies, looking slightly pissed.  
"I need a favour."

Ten minutes later, Meredith was sitting on the bathroom bench, with Cristina guarding the door. The pregnancy test sat in its box, under Meredith's watchful eye. The seconds were ticking slowly, Meredith was sure of it.

"I'm not ready," Meredith blurted, tears running down her face. "We've been trying for three months now, and now I finally might be, and I'm freaking out Cristina. Mums don't freak out! Mums stay calm in all sorts of situations. How am I supposed to be a mother if just peeing on a stick gets me freaked out? "  
"Meredith Grey, or Meredith Shepherd or whatever-your-name-is," Cristina exclaimed loudly, putting her hands on her friends cheek. "Stop. You and Derek are like the most sickening couple I've ever seen. You're all gushy and lovey-dovey. You kiss and have pet-names for each other..."  
"We do not!" Meredith interjected.  
"Uhh... Derbear?" Cristina replied, raising her eyebrows. "May I continue?"  
"Yes," Meredith replies with a blush.  
"Like I was saying," Cristina said. "You and Derek are like, the antithesis of my loveless beliefs. You will be great parents, and even though I hate spawn of anybody or anything, I think I could handle your kids. You're not dark and twisty any more. You're sweet and kind and caring. The shooting changed you, for the better. You care more and that's okay. It makes you a better surgeon and it will make you a great mother. Don't doubt yourself Meredith, because I know you want this, and I know that you can do this."  
"Thank-you Cristina," Meredith replied, tears in her eyes. "You're the best person ever."  
"You realise this constitutes hugging?" Cristina asked, as Meredith wrapped her arms around Cristina's neck.

Meredith laughed and smiled at Cristina, amazed that she was lucky enough to find such a great friend. She turned to the clock, and then to the test. A minus sign, reminding her of the baby she lost and despite her anxieties, Meredith bursts into tears yet again.

"Next time," Cristina murmured. "It's okay Mer. I promise that one day you will have a baby and you will spoil her rotten."  
"What if it's a boy?" Meredith asked, through her tears.  
"No way. We've got enough stupid boy penises running around."  
Meredith laughed, her laugh tinkling between stilted sobs.

Fifteen minutes later, after she's managed to stop her tears, leaving only blotchy cheeks and slightly damp scrubs as evidence, Meredith walked up to Derek's office, knocking on the door. Derek answered it, smiling until he saw the remnants of Meredith's tears.

"Mer," he said quietly. "What's wrong?"  
He ushered her into his office, pulling her down beside him on the couch. He tucked her head under his chin, holding her close and tight, letting her feel unequivocally loved.  
"I thought I was pregnant," she whispered. "Cris asked me for a tampon, but I'm a week late and I hadn't even realised. I was freaking out, and Cristina talked me down and I was getting really excited. I kept picturing this little bundle of baby, wrapped in a blanket, with the McDreamy hair and those bright blue baby eyes. But it was negative."  
"Oh Mer," Derek sighed. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. But we can keep trying, it's not the end."  
"I just didn't realise how much I wanted a baby, until now. I feel like I've lost two babies Derek, not just one."  
"I know," he mutters. "I feel the same way. I never wanted kids with Addison. Or, I thought I did, but I was just looking for a way to get us closer. With you, it feels so different. I want this concrete proof of what our love can make. Part of you, and me, so that when we're old, and smelly, and senile, we can look back and always have something to be proud of."  
"It will happen, right?" Meredith asked, looking up at Derek with shining eyes.  
"It will happen," Derek smiled. "At the right time, it will happen. And if it doesn't, then we'll look at other options. Adoption or surrogacy or we could just get a lot of dogs."  
"I honestly think Lucy is enough dogs for us," Meredith smiled. "But those other options would be okay. I just really want to be pregnant, Derek. I want it so badly, and I'm afraid I'll never get it."  
"You will," Derek replied. "We will."

They sit in silence for twenty minutes, just basking in the peace and quiet, imagining how beautiful their babies would be.  
"So," Meredith started to say. "How many people did I guess right?"  
"All but April."  
"Seriously?" Meredith asked, shocked. "What'd she declare?"  
"Oncology."  
"Cancer? She chose cancer surgery?"  
"Yep," Derek replied. "Cancer surgery."  
"Can I call her tumour-girl?"  
"No!" Derek laughed out loud. "You cannot call her tumour girl."  
"Damn," Meredith giggled, smiling up at Derek.  
"So," Derek said, running his thumb along Meredith's stomach. "What do you say to starting to try again now?"  
"Oh Chief Shepherd," Meredith simpered. "I don't think this is appropriate."  
"Oh," Derek replied, locking the door. "This will be anything but appropriate.

_This is my first fanfic written so I would absolutely LOVE reviews - they keep me motivated and give me constructive criticism! Thanks!_


	3. Chapter 3 Beginning to Feel

**DISCLAIMER: Grey's Anatomy isn't mine... because even though that's what I asked Santa for, for Christmas, he didn't deliver. **

_Just clarifying a few things: Izzie and George are both alive, Izzie survived the cancer and George never got hit by the bus. Mark and Lexie are together, Izzie and Alex are together. Other than that, everything is the same as the current Season Seven. _

_This is PART ONE of a two-part Christmas post, so curl up with a hot chocolate and enjoy some MerDer fluffiness._

Chapter Three; Beginning to Feel

"Derek!" Meredith squealed. "I am not eating that crap!"  
"Meredith! " Derek squealed, imitating her. "It's not crap, it's muesli and natural yoghurt."  
"It's disgusting! It's all chewy. I want pancakes!"  
"Meredith, seriously? You're acting like a three-year-old."  
"I'm just practicing," Meredith giggled, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "Trying to keep you on your toes so that when we do have a baby you'll be ready."  
"Oh I'll be ready alright," he muttered, kissing her tightly.  
"So what are our plans for today?" she asked him.

It wasn't often that Meredith and Derek got a day off together, so they both wanted to make the most of it. If it was Meredith's choice, they'd most likely have spent the entire day in bed, only getting up for water or fresh fruit or to shower occasionally and prevent bedsores. Derek however, had other plans.

"It's Christmas Eve, dear," he smiled. "Let's go get a tree."  
"I don't do Christmas," Meredith replied staunchly.  
"Meredith!" he begged. "Please! I really just want a Christmas tree!"  
"Derek, you're acting like a three-year-old," she teased him.  
"Practice?" he suggested, looking up at her with his amazingly bright blue eyes.  
"Practice," she agreed, giving in and pulling on a hat and gloves. "But it's freaking cold outside Derek, so you owe me a very large hot chocolate when we get home."  
"If you can wait till lunch, I'll make you chocolate chip pancakes with strawberry coulis," Derek offered. "We can get the tree now, and eat later?"  
"Fine," she sighed. "Let me go find my scarf."  
"Pre-natal vitamin?" he asked, offering her the large bottle.  
"Thanks," she sighed.

When they'd bought the bottle almost four months ago, she'd never suspected that she would finish it before even getting pregnant. She just assumed that getting pregnant would be somewhat easy, even if her uterus was "hostile". She still liked to maintain that it was Derek's snide penis that was at fault though. Nonetheless, every time she took a pill out of the nearly empty bottle, it made her stomach twitch and she felt a pang of sadness.

"Another day, no baby," she whispered to herself.  
"Pardon?" Derek asked, sticking his head in from the mud room where he was pulling on his boots.  
"Nothing Der," she replied, sweeping her hair into a ponytail and wrapping her scarf around her neck.  
"Ready to go?" he asked her, looking as eager as a puppy.  
"Ready," she smiled. "Let's go Little Derek."

They managed to find a perfect tree and load it on top of the jeep, before Meredith started to whine from boredom and the cold. Of course Derek had insisted on cutting it down by hand, swing after slow swing of the axe, while every other man walked past with chainsaws. Meredith had pleaded with him to just borrow one from the tree lot, but Derek just kept muttering something about the "integrity of the activity" and manual labour having a purpose. Meredith knew that the tree was much too big, and would look monstrous when placed next to the furniture in their living room, but she just couldn't say no when she saw the look on Derek's face. She could only imagine what a push-over they'd both be as parents if their children inherited his eyes or smile, or her giggle and talent of batting her eyelashes.

When they got home, she slumped over the table and pretended to fall asleep. Derek was lugging in the tree behind him, pine needles scattering over the floor.

"Derek!" Meredith exclaimed. "Look at the mess!"  
"Can you smell that?" Derek asked, purposely ignoring her statement. "That's a real Christmas tree. Reminds me of my childhood Christmases back home."  
"It makes me think of car fresheners," Meredith muttered.  
"You didn't have a real Christmas tree? Those fake ones are totally bogus," Derek said absent-mindedly as he stood up the tree in the centre of the room.  
"Actually I never had a tree at all," Meredith replied. "Getting a Christmas tree, whether real or fake, was not high on Ellis Grey's list of priorities."

Derek stopped, dead in his tracks, and looked at her.  
"You've never had a Christmas tree?"  
She shook her head.  
"What about a stocking?"  
"Nope," she replied, fiddling with her wedding band.  
"Presents from Santa?"  
"I'm pretty sure my mother told me that Santa was fake before I was in kindergarten, Derek."  
"Did you get those mall photos taken with him? What about a big Christmas dinner? With turkey and stuffing and baked potatoes?"  
"I think they had turkey in the cafeteria at Seattle Grace," she mused. "With this really watery cranberry sauce. It looked like blood."  
"You had Christmas in the hospital? How old were you?"  
"Oh yeah," Meredith enthused. "We did it every year until I was about ten. In the mornings I'd go and walk around the nurse's station, and they'd take pity on me and give me lollies. My mother would occasionally be able to have lunch with me, but more often than not I'd just grab a plate and go into the gallery and watch her."  
"And you enjoyed that?" he asked, stroking her cheek.  
"It was better than the alternative," she replied. "The lady across the road babysat me a few times but she smelled like cats and tried to feed me pickles."  
"You love pickles!"  
"Now I do," she replied, kissing him gently. "But what six year old REALLY likes pickles, Derek?"  
"So in all regards," Derek mused, planting kisses down her neck. "Tomorrow will be your first Christmas?"  
"My first real Christmas," she replied quietly, feeling her body start to flutter.  
"Fantastic," he replied. "We can consider it practice for our baby's first Christmas."  
"Speaking of baby," Meredith replied. "Care to practice?"  
Derek smiled, and pulled her down under the Christmas tree, kissing her slowly until she moaned in pleasure.  
"I never thought pine could smell so amazing," she whispered into his ear, biting his earlobe gently.  
"This Christmas," he replied, as he slid his hands up under her shirt. "Will be your best yet."

Late that night, Derek had successfully emptied three cartons of tinsel and a whole box of Christmas lights onto the tree. Meredith thought it was overkill but she also loved watching him getting so protective and excited, and she couldn't bear to spoil his fun when he was clearly so proud of his handiwork. Once he had finished, she handed him a mug of coffee and they sat on the couch, staring at the winking lights with smiles on their faces.

"I think I'm a fan of Christmas so far," Meredith whispered.  
"You totally should be. Christmas is awesome," Derek replied.  
"Maybe for cheery, happy people who had great childhoods."  
"Our kids will be cheery, happy people."  
"They'll probably be chatty too. Honestly, as long as they have your hair I'll be happy."  
"Cheery, chatty children," Derek teased.  
"Oh you and your alliteration. All I'm saying is that you have a beautiful Christmas tree, Derek."  
"If I didn't know any better," Derek replied. "I'd think you were trying to get into my pants."  
"Derek! Not in front of the tree!"  
"Oh, honestly Mer, I think the tree's scarred enough from this morning. And this afternoon."  
"The poor tree," Meredith mused. "My first Christmas tree and I've managed to ruin it with sex."  
"For the record," Derek replied, running a thumb down her nose, "That was good sex."  
"Derek!" Meredith hit him gently. "Not in front of the tree!"

They both settled down, enjoying the peace and quiet. Meredith couldn't help but wonder about what next Christmas would be like. Maybe they'd have a baby, a month or two old, or maybe she'd be pregnant, waddling around and swearing like Bailey when she was woken from a nap. Even if neither came true, she knew that all her Christmases in the near future would be with Derek and for that she was truly grateful. They dozed for a few hours on the couch, settling under the muted rainbow tones of their Christmas lights. By the time they woke up, it was just past midnight and she poked Derek, waking him up.

"It's Christmas," she whispered.  
"So it is," he mumbled, looking at his watch and letting out a yawn.  
"So what are our plans for later today?" she asked, kissing Derek softly.  
"Oh a little of this, a little of that."  
"Would presents be involved?"  
"Of course," he smiled. "It's Christmas."  
"Well then it's a good thing that I got you something," she said, swinging herself over and straddling him.  
"But what if it's not the right size?" he asked, pulling off her shirt.  
"It better be," she replied, looking him right in the eye. "Because I wouldn't know where to return it."  
"Then it's a damn good thing that it's absolutely perfect," he smiled, kissing her softly. "Merry Christmas Meredith"  
"Merry Christmas Derek," she replied.


	4. Chapter 4 Paperwork

**DISCLAIMER: Grey's Anatomy is not mine, because if it was, Eve would not be my friend as she'd go nuts seeing me around Patrick Dempsey all the time. ILY EP4 3 **

_This is PART TWO of the two-part Christmas post. Let me know if you think the story is moving too fast or if you're happy with it. _

Chapter Four; Paperwork

Derek woke up later that morning, and just watched Meredith as she slept. She was snoring quietly as she always did, but he'd grown to love it. She slept like a child, deeply, not waking until she was fully rejuvenated. Derek stepped into the shower and thought about his plans for later that day. Last night after they'd finished making love on sofa, he'd carried her upstairs to bed and waited for her to fall asleep. Once she'd started to snore quietly, he had snuck out of bed and filled up a pillow case full of small trinkets and toys. Her very own Santa stocking.

After the shower, Derek walked downstairs and turned on the coffee machine. He sprinkled in a few peppermint flavoured flakes, and put it on the bench, sure that Meredith would be down at any moment and in need of a caffeine jolt. He started making waffle batter and sprinkled in chocolate chips. While he was cooking the first of the batch, he heard the tell-tale creak on the stairs and saw Meredith as she walked around the corner.

"Merry Christmas, beautiful," he smiled, handing her the coffee.  
"Even the coffee tastes Christmassy," she said quietly, rubbing her eyes. "I would wish you a merry Christmas but I am ridiculously tired, Derek."  
"Through no fault of my own," he laughed, tickling her gently. "If I remember correctly, you were the one who initiated the second round last night."  
"Maybe," she smiled, slowly waking up as she drank more of the coffee. "But I didn't hear any complaints from you either Doctor Shepherd."  
"Oh no. No complaints here."

She sat down at the high stool next to the kitchen counter and he passed her a plate of waffles and a candy cane.  
"For breakfast?" she asked, picking up the striped candy stick.  
"Christmas is the only day when you can get away with eating it and not being judged," he replied.  
"So what else is on the agenda for today?" she asked through a mouthful of waffle.  
"Well I think we should see if Santa visited," Derek twinkled.  
"Oh please Derek," she mumbled. "As if."  
"I'm not so sure," he replied, pulling out the holly-print pillow case from under the Christmas tree. "It certainly looks like Santa found you this year."  
Meredith's mouth gaped open, a half-chewed piece of waffle lying on her tongue.  
"You didn't," she said with a giggle. "You didn't!"  
"I didn't do anything," Derek replied with a smile. "It must have been Santa."  
She giggled like a child, and sat on Derek's lap under the tree, pulling the pillowcase towards her.  
"Are there any rules about Santa stockings?" she asked him, kissing him gently.  
"You can't look at what's inside," he replied, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "You just have to stick your hand in and take things out on at a time."

He sat, with her in his lap, and smiled as she got so excited, pulling out packages of hairties, and jellybeans, and a new purple stethoscope. She smiled at him as she grabbed a packet of chocolate coated peanuts, and then a box of glow in the dark condoms. Finally, she pulled out a pair of lacy red underwear and a matching bra with fluffy white trim.

"Doctor Shepherd," she said throatily. "Do you have some sort of Santa fetish?"  
"Actually Doctor Shepherd," he replied. "I just have some sort of fetish for my wife, naked except for some very skimpy underwear."  
"Ooh la la!" she giggled. "So this stocking thing is awesome. We are SO doing it again next year. But next year, if you're a good boy, maybe Santa will come to you too."  
"Well I'll definitely try my hardest," he laughed.  
"Dirty Derek," she laughed. "Really dirty. So what's next on the Christmas to-do-list?"  
"Your Christmas present," he replied, passing her a quite large but flat box, wrapped in santa paper.  
"You already gave me a gift," she replied, picking up her stocking.  
"That's from SANTA," he emphasises. "This is from me."  
She opened it slowly, carefully unsealing the tape and folding the paper carefully. She opened the flat box, and looked at the documents that lay inside. There were two separate bundles of documents. The first, had a post-it labelled "FIRST" and the second had a post-it labelled "SECOND". She pulled off the post-it, reading the title of the document. It was a deed.  
"Derek," she said shakily, looking up at him. "What is this?"  
"This house, now officially belongs to both of us," he smiled. "The land and the house were only under my name, so I called my lawyers, got some papers signed up and fixed it. Now it's officially ours to share, forever."  
"Derek," she repeated. "I can't even... oh my God... that's too much!"  
"You saved me," he said earnestly, looking into her eyes. "You saved me when I was drowning, and I love you more than life itself. Half a house is nothing compared to how much I adore you."  
"Thank-you," she said quietly. "I can't even begin to repay you."  
"Open the second one," he whispered.  
She pulled off the post-it note, reading the forms quickly.  
"Is this what I think it is?" she asks with a grin spreading across her face.  
"Meredith Grey," Derek said, pulling her up to stand next to him. "I know that we said the post-it was enough, but it's not. I want us to be legal. I want for everybody in the world to know how much I love you. Will you marry me? Again?"  
"Yes," she grinned. "Yes Derek, I will."  
"Consider this your repayment," he smiled, picking her up and twirling her around.  
"When can we do it?" she asked, picking up the marriage licence. "And HOW did you get my signature to sign for this?"  
"I may have forged it," he laughed. "I didn't think you'd mind. And if you don't have any better plans, I actually made an appointment at the courthouse for this afternoon."  
"Perfect," she smiled, kissing him fully on the lips. "But enough of that for now, it's time for your present."

He grinned, pulling her back into his lap as he sat down on the couch. She reached behind the couch, pulling out a massive wrapped present with both hands.  
"What is this?" he asked in amazement.  
"Oh I have NO idea," she laughed. "Unwrap it already!"  
He pulled off the wrapping paper, finding a big basket, filled with different goodies. He pulled out a tube of chocolate body paint, a pair of edible panties and lavender scented massage oils before he suddenly realised what it was.  
"Is this a sex box?" he laughed out loud.  
"It's our grown-up toy box," Meredith smiled coyly.  
Derek continued to pull out a bottle of their favourite champagne, vanilla-scented candles, a pair of black fluffy handcuffs and finally a tiny Flip video camera.  
"Meredith," he said. "Consider this your warning. In about two seconds I'm going to ravage you completely. Right here."  
"No way mister," Meredith replied, planting her hands on her hips. "I don't want to lose my value. You're going to have to marry me, first."

He kissed her chastely, and then laughed his head off.  
"Let's just go now," he begged. "Screw this afternoon's appointment. I don't want to waste another hour not being married to you."  
Meredith nodded, kissed him back and then ran upstairs, rifling through her wardrobe.  
"What're you wearing?" she asked him.  
"My red shirt," he replied. "So I look very good-looking."  
"Just like the night at the bar," she smiled. "My one night stand turned into the love of my life. It's so ironic, and like a Mills and Boon novel, Derek."  
"What are YOU wearing then?" he asked.  
"My black dress, with the slit up the side."  
"Just like the night at the bar," he repeated. "The girl I fell in love with at first sight, now on our way to becoming an old officially married couple."  
"Sounds about right," she smiled.

They both got dressed, struggling to keep their hands off one another as they both snuck peeks at the other naked. They held hands on their way out to the car, and Meredith kept her hand on his knee for the entire drive across town. When they got to the courthouse, they walked straight in, with their marriage licence and said the traditional vows, exchanging the rings they'd bought for each almost a year ago, after their post-it wedding.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs Shepherd," Derek said with a grin as they walked out into the parking lot.  
"Merry Christmas, Mr Shepherd," Meredith replied, kissing him passionately.  
"Now," Derek growled, revving the engine. "Let's get home so we can put our Christmas presents to good use."  
"Oh yes please, husband," Meredith smiled. "I just can't wait to put on those lovely lacy underpants."  
Derek groaned just thinking about it, and Meredith squeezed his thigh.  
"Don't worry Derek," she whispered into his ear. "We've got a lifetime to spend together. And I intend on spending a fairly large chunk of it naked." 


	5. Chapter 5 Fireworks

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy although I wish I could claim ownership over it all, specifically McDreamy ;) **

Chapter Five; Firework

Christmas had come and gone a week ago, and today was New Years Eve. As they'd both had Christmas day off, Meredith and Derek were both working. Neither of them were particularly happy about it, but as Meredith said, "at least we're together". Derek had plans other than surgery, and thoughts running through his head about on-call rooms or empty surgical galleries. They woke up in the morning early, to the sound of Lucy scratching the back door to get out.

"Remind me why we got the dog," Meredith groaned into her pillow.  
"I believe it was you who bought her," Derek replied, burying his head under the sheets. "All I remember is coming home after a conference to find you on the couch covered in fluff and a puppy running very excitedly around the room with the remnants of my pillow."  
"You love Lucy too," Meredith replied, sitting up and pulling the sheets off Derek.  
"Yes," he replied. "I love Lucy. But I love you, and my sleep, more."  
"You let her out," she replied. "I'll run us a bath. A really big bath."  
"I think I like this 'being married' thing," he smiled, pulling on his boxers and walking downstairs to let Lucy out into their yard.  
"Me too," Meredith replied as she watched her husband walk downstairs, admiring his butt from her very comfortable place on the bed.

By the time they were at the hospital, there were people rushing everywhere and burns patients filling up the hallways.  
"Damn," Meredith whispered. "I love New Years Eve."  
"People really need to learn that fireworks aren't a joke," Derek said quickly, running into the first of three trauma rooms. "I'll page you later, Mer."  
"Okay," she replied, her voice trailing off as he disappeared into the room, pulling on a disposable scrub gown as he entered.  
"Grey," Bailey said absently as she bustled through the room. "There's an amputation in room 2305. If you beat Karev there, it's yours to do solo."  
"Leg or arm?" Meredith called as Bailey bustled away.  
"Hand," she thought she heard Bailey say, as she ran down the hallway.

Meredith got to room 2305 very quickly, and let out a breath as she saw that Karev was nowhere near. She walked into the room confidently, grabbed the chart and smiled at the patient.  
"Good morning Mr Johnson," she said, flipping through his chart. "My name is Dr Grey and I'll be performing your amputation today."  
"Great," the patient muttered angrily, clearly upset that he was going to be losing his hand.  
"From what I read here, this was a pyrotechnics accident?" Meredith asked.  
"Fireworks. My stupid brother decided he needed a fireworks display, but of course when he lit the fuse nothing happened. And then I stupidly picked up the firework, which was when it chose to explode, firing right into my hand," Mr Johnson said angrily, looking at the very small amount of hand he had left. "The other doctors said that amputation was the logical solution."  
"Well we've already got an OR booked and you're prepped, so let's go," Meredith smiled.

As soon as Mr Johnson went under anaesthesia, Meredith turned to the nearest nurse and grinned. "How about some music to match the holiday?" she suggested.  
The nurse turned on the radio, and as soon as Meredith heard the popular song blaring out she wanted to laugh.  
"How ironic," she laughed, as the nurses all in turn realised the song.  
"Firework," said the anaesthesiologist dryly. "This man will be losing a hand, and Katy Perry's hit song 'Firework' just happens to come on."  
Meredith smiled, giggled a little and then switched on her 'surgery face', as Cristina labelled it.  
"Scalpel," she said confidently, holding out her left hand.

After scrubbing out of the surgery, Meredith walked down the hall, pulling her scrub-cap off and shaking out her blonde hair.  
"Lavender," a voice whispered behind her. "You know pretty lady, you remind me very much of my gorgeous wife."  
"Oh really," Meredith replied, turning around to find Derek standing there. "And if your wife is so gorgeous, why are you standing here smelling my hair?"  
"Like I said," he replied, kissing her gently and wrapping his arms around her waist. "I can't resist the lavender."  
"It is fairly irresistible," she replied. "But you know what's even better?"  
"What?" he asked her as they walked into 'their' elevator.  
"Solo surgery. A hand amputation, to be precise."  
"You amputated a hand, all by yourself?" he asked with a grin. "That's awesome Mer. I am beyond proud of you. You're a hell of a surgeon."  
"You know what's even better than solo surgery though?" Meredith asked him, kissing him gently at first, and then deepening it ever so slightly.  
"What?" Derek groaned, feeling awfully hot in the confined elevator.  
"Sex. Dirty, hot sex in an empty on-call room."

The elevator doors pinged open and Derek took Meredith's hand, leading her down the hallway. Just as he turned the doorknob of an on-call room, a nurse called down urgently.  
"Dr Shepherd?" called the nurse. "Dr Shepherd!"  
Derek sighed before turning around. "Yes?"  
"Incoming trauma in Ambulance Bay 1. Closed head trauma, and you're the only neurosurgeon on staff," the nurse said quickly, stumbling over her words.  
"Damnit," Derek swore. "Raincheck?"  
Meredith smiled at him, kissed him quickly and whispered into his ear. "It's a beautiful day to save lives."  
Derek just grinned in return. His wife knew him so well and he felt incredibly lucky to have her. He snapped himself out his adoration and ran down the hall to the trauma rooms.

Meredith sighed quietly. It seemed that they'd never get time to themselves. Lately, they'd been so busy that everything had been put on the back burner. Most of all was the baby-making. Either he was exhausted, or she was working night shift, or there were days when neither of them even saw the other as they ducked into and out of surgeries. Just two nights before, on the first day they'd actually been home together, Meredith had fallen asleep at the dinner table while Derek was boiling the pasta in the kitchen. Disheartened, Meredith made her way down to the pit which was surprisingly quiet given the hour. It was mid-afternoon, and she supposed that people were in between fireworks displays.

She found Cristina in the gallery of OR2, watching Mark Sloan performing a breast enhancement, with Izzie at her side, knitting something small and fluffy in lemon-coloured wool. She plonked herself down next to Cristina, who was suturing up a banana.  
"What are you doing?" she asked the two of them, watching as Mark handled two small silicone pouches.  
"Practicing my running whip stitch," Cristina replied. "It's boring, but not nearly as boring as the clinic. I just got asked how to insert a tampon. I let George take over."  
"Cristina!" Meredith giggled. "Poor George."  
"Eh, it'll make him man up."  
"Well I," Izzie interrupted, brandishing her needles. "Am knitting."  
"I see that," Meredith replied, eyeing the bundle of wool. "The question is, WHAT exactly are you knitting?"  
"Booties!" Izzie grinned, holding them up. "I've already made two little caps in pink and blue, a little sweater in green and a gorgeous little blanket in a variety of pastels. I figured booties were next on the list."  
"Who are they for?" Meredith asked suspiciously.  
"Baby McDreamy," Izzie replied, smiling at her. "I mean, don't hate me but I overheard you and Derek talking about babies and I got so excited."  
"Well don't get too excited," Meredith replied under her breath. "Right now it's the last thing we have time for."  
"You two are like the most sexed-up people in this hospital!" Cristina replied, not looking up from her banana. "What are you talking about?"  
"Usually," Meredith replied, watching as Sloan's surgery progressed. "But the last week has just been crazy. I swear we haven't even done it once. I mean, we were going to one night and I got all dressed up and by the time I came out of the bathroom he was snoring, fully-clothed, on the bed."  
"Damn."  
"Damn indeed," Meredith replied, stealing a bunch of grapes that were sitting next to Cristina's side.  
"Hey!" Cristina complained. "I was going to practice my kid-sized stitches on those."  
"Suck it," Meredith said snarkily, poking her tongue out at her friend and walking outside.  
"Sounds like you need to!" Cristina yelled loudly after her friend.  
Meredith burst out into a laugh, and pelted Cristina with grapes before walking downstairs.

The afternoon passed by slowly, melding into early evening as Meredith grabbed a can of soda from the vending machine on the bottom floor. She checked on her post-ops, on Derek's post-ops, on Bailey's post-ops and even Stark's post-ops before she finally settled down in the cafeteria with a hot cup of coffee and a lukewarm bowl of spaghetti. She ate alone with the exception of the janitor; the hospital eerily quiet given it was New Year's Eve. In fact, she noticed, it was almost the New Year. Just thirty more minutes before it hit 2011. She was quietly excited, hoping that the next year would bring a lot of joy and pleasure into hers and Derek's lives. Hopefully in the form of a teeny-tiny baby with Derek's hair and her giggle.

She walked up to the surgical suites, hoping to be able to watch the tail-end of Derek's craniotomy but she found all the OR's quiet and closed. Just as she was walking down to find Cristina, she saw a twinkle down the hall. She smiled, as she recognised a particularly handsome man waiting in the hallway, wearing a pair of slightly crumpled scrubs and a very big grin on his tired face. She walked down the hall and into the arms of her husband, smiling as she buried her face into his chest.

"You smell like surgery," she told him quietly.  
"Sorry," he grimaced.  
"Don't be," she replied. "I'm a junkie, it's a turn-on."  
"Well Mrs Shepherd," Derek replied with a twinkle in his eye. "Can I invite you into this on-call room?"

Meredith walked into the room, to find it full of candles and clean sheets.  
"Well," she said, reaching down between them and pulling off her scrub pants. "What better way to welcome in the New Year than in an on-call room with my handsome husband?"  
"Oh you better believe it," Derek whispered, pulling off her scrub top in one quick movement.

He cupped her breasts through her lacy bra, kissing her passionately. Her nipples responding instantly to his touch, she moaned and pushed his pants down to his ankles. Their clothes quickly were left in a puddle at their feet, Derek pushed her onto the bed, arching above her with his eyes locked onto hers. Just as he moved down to kiss her, they could hear fireworks going off in the distance. They joined in one movement, and Meredith looked up at her husband in wonder.

"Happy New Year Derek," she said quietly, a grin spreading across her face as she pushed herself up towards him, kissing down his chest.  
"Happy New Year Meredith," he replied with a slight groan. "Happy, happy, happy."


	6. Chapter 6 Fertility

**DISCLAIMER: I clearly do not own Grey's Anatomy, because if I did then I would be match-making all my friends up with some very handsome actors :P **

Chapter Six; Fertility

Meredith and Derek had tried for eight months now to conceive naturally, before they finally decided to go to a fertility specialist. Meredith hated the idea, sure that it was her own genetic inadequacies that prevented them from making a baby. Her mother's stony disposition had bled into her chromosomes and the universe had decided that making Meredith barren was a way to prevent the coldness from passing onto another generation of Grey women. Meredith was losing faith, and had given up having any hope. She stopped tracking her cycles, taking fertility pills and had stopped initiating sex. Derek was more determined than ever, noticing that his wife had lost faith he decided to have enough hope and faith for the both of them. Derek was the one who made the appointment, and Meredith had agreed grumpily, muttering comments under her breath.

The night before the appointment, Derek kissed and touched and whispered but Meredith turned away from him, tired and disappointed. He gave up, and waited until she fell asleep before he cuddled her close, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her gently. Even in her sleep, she felt his touch and relaxed, letting out a contented sigh. Derek smiled, and whispered into her ear, just before she fell asleep.  
"We can do this Mer," he whispered quietly. "We can make a baby."

The next morning, Derek woke up and found the other half of the bed empty, but he could hear Lucy barking outside and the faint smell of coffee wafting up the stairs. He walked downstairs in his boxer shorts and smiled as he saw his beautiful wife sitting on their front steps, coffee in hand, playing a game of Frisbee with a very excited Lucy. He grabbed his own mug, and walked over, sitting down next to her.  
"Morning," he said quietly, kissing her cheek.  
"Morning," she replied, staring into her cup of coffee.  
"If you don't want to go this morning, we don't have to," Derek told her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "We can just keep doing what we've been doing. I just thought it was the right thing. I'm worried about you Meredith. Because it feels like I'm losing you, like you're disappearing right in front of my eyes. And you know that I would love to have a baby with you, but if it's going to make you unhappy, we should just stop, and forget it."  
"I'm scared, Derek," Meredith whispered, laying her head on his chest.  
"Of what?"  
"You'll find out that not only do I have a hostile uterus but I'm sure there's some sort of ovarian disorder or just some screwed up genetics that make it impossible for me to have a child. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a mother."  
"That's a load of crap Meredith," Derek said, stroking her hair. "You'll be an amazing mother. You are amazing with children, and you'll be like freaking Mary Poppins except better because you'll be a real mum, and not just the nanny."  
"And if we can't have kids," Meredith began.  
"Then it'll be me and you, just us two," Derek finished solidly. "And I could never be happier."  
"Fine," Meredith sighed. "You talked me into it. But just one more thing?"  
"Anything for you," Derek replied.  
"Kitchen sex? On the table?"  
"As you wish," he laughed, scooping her up and carrying her into the kitchen.

Their giggles and moans echoed through the house as their spilled coffee leaked across the tiled floor. But neither of them cared about the mess because they were both just happy to be in each other's arms again.

Forty minutes later, Derek was pulling up his jeans and buckling them, listening to Meredith who was bustling about downstairs.  
"Derek!" she called from the kitchen, where she was furiously cleaning the top of the table. "We're going to be late."  
"Totally worth it," he replied, grabbing the car keys as they rushed out the door together.

They walked into the specialist's office, hand in hand and sat on the lime-green couch uncomfortably. Meredith was gawking at a woman across the room who looked as though she was pregnant with an elephant, and Derek was smiling at a little boy playing with blocks on the floor.  
"Dr Shepherd?" the nurse called, and both Meredith and Derek looked up before she ushered them into the back room, waiting for the specialist.

Dr Levi was a young woman with bright red hair pulled into a ponytail and features reminiscent of a pixie. She smiled brightly at Meredith and Derek before getting down to business. The questions she asked them made both Meredith and Derek very uncomfortable, as they weren't used to being on the receiving end of difficult questions about their personal life.

"Well," Dr Levi said kindly. "Shall I just give you a quick physical exam Meredith and if everything's fine then we can proceed from there?"  
"Sure," Meredith said, walking over to the bed and lying down.  
"Should I leave?" Derek asked, gesturing to the door.  
"Seriously Derek," Meredith replied. "You've seen it all before. Come here you big goof."

Derek took a seat near the head of the bed, talking to Meredith quietly as Dr Levi did her examination. Finally, Meredith heard the familiar sound of the plastic gloves snapping as Dr Levi took them off and threw them into the rubbish bin.

"I'll leave you two for a moment to compose yourselves, and then I'll be back," she smiled as she left the room.

Meredith pulled up her panties, and straightened her top.  
"It'll be okay, right?"  
"It'll be better than okay. It'll be great."

Dr Levi came back in, and sat at the desk, with Meredith and Derek facing her. She opened their file and wrote a few words in a very scrawly script, Derek craning to see what she had written. She snapped it shut and looked up at them wryly.

"I'm really sorry to tell you this," she began. "But there's nothing I can do for you."

Meredith's shoulders sank in disappointment, her eyes glazed over with tears and she could feel a lump appear in her throat. Derek shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wrapping an arm around his wife, acutely aware of how upset she was.

"There are no options?" Derek asked, clearing his throat. "No more fertility drugs or IVF? Nothing?"  
"I'm afraid that given the circumstances those really aren't appropriate," Dr Levi replied seriously.  
"The circumstances?" Derek asked, confused.  
"You are pregnant," Dr Levi said with a grin.  
"I'm sorry," Meredith choked. "I must have misheard you. I'm what?"  
"Pregnant. At least a few weeks along from what I could tell from the physical exam," Dr Levi replied. "Congratulations. But like I said, there's really nothing I can do for you from now on."  
"We're pregnant?" Derek asked, his eyes shining with tears. "Oh my god."  
"Derek," Meredith whispered. "We're going to have a baby."

Dr Levi slipped out of the room unnoticed as the couple swept themselves into a close embrace, kissing passionately. This was her favourite part of the job. Usually she was left giving out the bad news or dictating sex schedules to couples so desperate that they would try anything. It was rare that she gave news so happy that it gave cause for a celebratory hug, let alone a kiss. She was glad for the two and smiled as she watched their happiness unfold.

Derek unbuttoned Meredith's jeans and pulled up her top, resting his hand slightly on her abdomen.  
"Hi baby," he whispered. "I love you. We both love you. And we can't wait to meet you."  
Meredith looked up at her husband, tears in her eyes and trailing down her cheeks.  
"We did it," she grinned widely. "Despite my dark and twisty personality, despite my crappy DNA and despite my terrible mother, despite your father dying, and despite you being shot and despite losing our first baby... we did it, Derek. We are having a baby of our very own."  
Derek picked her off her first, swinging her around and kissing her as she giggled madly.  
"Derek!" she laughed.  
"You know how I said earlier that I couldn't be happier than if it was just us two?" he asked her with a grin.  
"Yes," she smiled, touching her stomach gently.  
"I'm happier," he grinned widely. "I am so, so happy Meredith."  
"So am I," she whispered. "And so is McBaby."


	7. Chapter 7 July

**DISCLAIMER: I am not Shonda Rhimes or have any association with television, and thus I sadly do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of their characters. **

Chapter Seven; July

Derek drove home from the fertility appointment with his eyes, glistening with tears of happiness. He couldn't stop grinning, and kept sneaking glances at his beautiful wife who didn't even realise that she had her hand resting gently on her stomach. Meredith was caught up in her own little world too, a serene smile plastered on her face and she kept imagining what this baby would look like. She imagined the soft whorl of dark hair, bright blue eyes and tiny little hands, opening and closing like starfish. Derek drove with one hand on the steering wheel, and his other firmly clasped in Meredith's.

"Do you want to go out for lunch?" he asked her. "To celebrate?"  
"I think I'd much rather celebrate at home," she smiled in return. "Maybe in the place where this little one was conceived."  
"The bath-tub?" Derek laughed.  
"Or the kitchen table," Meredith replied.  
"Under the Christmas tree, "he countered.  
"The bed," she suggested with a laugh.  
"Not likely," he replied. "How often do our extracurricular activities involve a bed unless it's in an empty on-call room at the hospital?"  
"Not often," Meredith agreed. "But right now the bed is looking very appealing."

When they got home, Meredith rushed upstairs to the bathroom while Derek fixed her a sandwich. He took the sandwich and a glass of water up to the bedroom, and found the bathroom door still firmly shut.

"Mer," he said, knocking on the door. "Are you alright in there?"  
"Sure," she replied. "You can come in if you like."

He raised his eyebrows before opening the door and finding Meredith sitting on the floor.

"What are you doing?" he asked.  
"Waiting for another three minutes and thirty seconds," she replied, waving a pregnancy test at him.  
"What are you doing that for?" he laughed.  
"I just wanted something to keep," she replied. "I know it's not exactly sanitary, but Derek, this moment is something I don't want to forget. Both of us being so happy, right in this moment. We need something to keep, so we can hold on to it."

Derek slid down onto the floor beside her, taking her hand and kissing her gently on the cheek. Together they waited for the three minutes, and grinned slowly as the clear window proudly displayed "Pregnant".

"Well if you needed any more proof, this is it," Derek smiled.  
"You know, my boobs have been pretty tender," Meredith pondered as Derek started kissing her neck. "I thought it was just that time of the month or whatever... but I guess not!"  
"Meredith," Derek said quietly, his hands roaming under her shirt. "Are you going to keep talking, or are we going to get naked?"  
"Well," Meredith replied, pretending to ponder over the decision.  
"That's it," Derek said with a grin, picking her up and taking her over to the bed. "You are in trouble, Miss Meredith."  
"I promise I'll make it up to you," Meredith replied, batting her lashes. "I'll do anything to get back in your good books, Chief Shepherd."

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, with the couple just spending most of their time in bed, with both of their hands resting on Meredith's very flat stomach, just smiling at each other.

Despite Meredith's insistence, Derek had pulled some major strings and gotten them an ultrasound appointment for the following morning. Meredith just smiled as she heard her husband on the phone, making sure that their appointment was in the largest room, with the newest equipment and the best doctor.

"Doctor Martin's alright, isn't she?" he asked her, covering the phone with his hand.  
"She's great, Derek," Meredith said, putting her hand on his arm to calm him down.  
"She's the best though? At SGMW at least? Maybe I should look into a private practice."  
"Derek, it's just my first ultrasound. There won't be anything too exciting to see anyway. How about we stick with Doctor Martin for now and we can look into that later on?"  
Derek frowned and then confirmed the appointment with Doctor Martin for 7.45am the next morning.

Early the next morning, Meredith was woken by the bed shuffling and the smell of coffee. She opened her eyes and found Derek standing at the end of the bed, holding a tray of food.

"What are you doing?" she asked him with a smile.  
"Bringing my wife breakfast," he replied, setting the tray down. "Strawberry pancakes, bacon and decaf coffee."

Meredith inhaled deeply and then clamped a hand to her mouth. She rushed to the bathroom as Derek stood, bewildered, still holding the tray. As he heard her retching, he understood and walked into the bathroom, holding her hair back.

"Sorry," he said quietly, rubbing small circles on her back.  
"Not your fault," Meredith replied, flushing the toilet and wiping her mouth. "I guess baby just isn't a fan of strawberries."  
"Do you want some normal pancakes? Or banana? Blueberry?"  
"Derek, the bacon is great. Seriously, it's more than enough. I'm not that hungry."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, I'm sure," she smiled, brushing her teeth quickly. "But if you do want to help, I would totally kill for a banana smoothie."  
"Coming up," he smiled, kissing her despite the toothpaste in her mouth. "Mmm, minty fresh."  
"Go make me my smoothie," Meredith said mischievously, smacking his butt as he turned around.

A few minutes later, she walked downstairs wearing a pair of blue jeans and a purple sweater, and Derek handed her a very frothy yellow smoothie.

"So your first bout of morning sickness," he said. "I'm sorry."  
"Don't be," Meredith replied, drinking the smoothie. "I mean, it's not pleasant but it's a normal sign of pregnancy. It just makes it feel more real, which is amazing. I can't believe that I didn't even know I was pregnant until yesterday... I think my body was lying to me, because it didn't want to get my hopes up like last time."  
"You are so bright and shiny this morning," Derek marvelled, kissing her gently. "Ready to go?"  
"Ready to go," she confirmed, slipping her hand into his.

Meredith bent down to ruffle Lucy's fur before she and Derek got into his car and drove through to SGMW. Walking through the halls, Meredith kept looking around her, wanting to make sure that nobody saw them here this early.

"What are you doing?" Derek whispered.  
"I don't want anybody to see us," she whispered back. "I don't want to tell anybody just yet."  
"Well you're probably only a few weeks along anyway, so that's a good idea," he said, squeezing her arm gently. "But it's all going to be okay Mer, I promise."  
"Don't make promises you can't keep," she replied. "It's already gone wrong once."  
"Not this time," he replied. "Not this baby. This baby is ours to keep, and raise and love forever."

Derek signed in for her at the desk and they were immediately shuffled through to an examination room where Meredith filled out a multitude of forms about her health and previous history with pregnancy. She almost teared up as she wrote "miscarriage, 2010" on the form but instead put her hand on her stomach and visualised this baby swimming around in her belly.

"Dr Shepherd," greeted the obstetrician as she walked into the room. "Dr Grey. How are you?"  
"Great thanks," Meredith replied with a shy smile.  
"Very excited," Derek added, looking at Meredith with pride evident in his eyes.  
"So this is your first baby?" she asked.  
"Yes," Derek said, at the same time that Meredith said "No."  
"We had a miscarriage almost a year ago," Derek said. "Very early on."  
"I'm sorry for your loss," Dr Martin said respectfully. "Have you had any spotting so far?"  
"No," Meredith replied.  
"And do you have any idea how far along you are?"  
"Nope," Meredith repeated. "I have been actively trying to keep my mind baby-free so I haven't even figured out dates or anything."  
"That's okay, we can check that today. Now how about we see if we can find the heartbeat," she said, moving the Doppler over Meredith's stomach. "You may be too early to find something, but..."

And just then, Dr Martin's voice was drowned out by a loud whoosh-whoosh sound. Meredith's eyes opened wide and Derek just looked at her in amazement.

"That is our baby," he smiled, leaning down to kiss Meredith's forehead.  
"It's a good heartbeat," Meredith grinned. "Strong and even."  
"You're right," Dr Martin said, taking some notes. "It is. Now let's pull up this ultrasound. You're obviously more than just a few weeks, so let's have a look."

The ultrasound picture sprung to life as she moved it over the cold gel on Meredith's stomach, settling down low between her hips. She moved it around expertly, finding the uterus and finally, that little bubble of life. A distinctly baby-shaped little bean, with a tiny head, and teeny little arms and legs.

"So it looks like Baby Shepherd is progressing along beautifully," Dr Martin said, taking a few measurements. "And I would say that you're about 10 weeks along, Meredith. That puts your due date at approximately July 27th."  
"July," Meredith breathed slowly.  
"July," Derek repeated.

Dr Martin froze the frame, and left the room, leaving the two soon-to-be parents sitting there, staring wondrously at their tiny little baby.

"I hope she has your hair," Meredith said, poking Derek softly, just as he whirled around quickly and kissed her, stealing her breath away.

"Our baby," he said, catching his breath and stroking Meredith's hair. "That is our baby."


	8. Chapter 8 Hands

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any part of it. 'Nuff said.**

Chapter Eight; Hands

Derek had been the perfect husband over the past two weeks, indulging Meredith's every whim or craving, even when it was two in the morning and she just had to have a cheeseburger from McDonalds. Meredith occasionally felt guilty, watching her husband running around to get her food, or running her baths or giving her massages, but she made sure to tell him how much she appreciated it, and so did their baby. She couldn't help but smile every night when, just before they turned out the light in the bedroom, Derek would place his hands on her stomach, kiss it and say "Good night baby, sweet dreams, don't let the uterine bugs bite". It was early on a Sunday morning and they were both scheduled to start at midday, so Derek cooked up some breakfast (oatmeal with apples and honey was the craving of the day) while Meredith got dressed.

Just as Derek had poured the oatmeal out into two bowls, he heard a screech from upstairs. He dropped the bowl immediately, not even noticing it shatter on the tiles and oatmeal oozing over the floor. He took the stairs two at a time, running and then dashing into their bedroom. He swung around wildly and found Meredith standing, braless in front of the mirror.

"What's wrong?" he asked wildly, trying to find some shred of a disaster.  
"My jeans won't do up! That's the problem!" Meredith complained tearfully, straining to pull the buttons on her jeans together.  
"Oh Mer," he sighed, pulling her into his arms. "It's okay."  
"I'm only twelve weeks Derek, and this baby is already taking over! Some people don't start showing until like four months!"  
"You have an extremely tiny frame," Derek explained, rubbing her back slowly and kissing her cheek. "And as such, it makes sense that you'd start to show a little earlier than most women. But you're not even showing Meredith. I can't see a thing."  
"Well I can!" she replied, tears running down her cheeks as she stared at her abdomen.

Derek hooked his chin over her shoulder and looked down at her stomach from the same angle as she did. He had to admit that there was indeed a tiny little bump there, barely noticeable, unless you were trying to squeeze into some extremely tight jeans.

"Okay, so it's a little noticeable," he said. "But when you're wearing scrubs, nobody will notice."  
"Promise?" she asked, looking up at him.  
"Promise," he replied, kissing her and then rifling through the closet.

He pulled out a pair of bootleg faded blue jeans and passed them to her.

"How about these? Still jeans, still flattering and fitted, just not so tight."  
"Thanks Der," Meredith murmured, snuggling close to his chest. "I'm sorry I'm so emotional."  
"Never apologise for anything concerned with this baby," he replied. "You two are the best things in my life. Nothing will ever change that fact."  
"What if we had another baby?" she asked coyly, looking up at him.  
"Well then I would have three favourite people in this world," he replied, hugging her close.

Two hours later, the oatmeal was cleaned from the floor, Meredith had changed her shirt three times and they were finally on their way into the hospital. Once there, Derek kissed Meredith quickly and headed into his office to grab a pair of scrubs for his first surgery. He had a tonne of paperwork to do, but as chief he still managed to fit in at least one surgery a day. Meredith headed off to the residents locker room where she found Cristina sitting on the bench in front of her cubby munching on an apple.

"Hey Cris," Meredith said, sitting heavily down on the bench.  
"What's up with you?" Cristina asked, taking another bite out of the apple.  
"Nothing, I'm fine," Meredith replied pulling out a pair of scribs and shimmying into them.  
"Oh cut the crap Mer, do I have to go castrate McDreamy or is somebody else responsible for this charming little mood that you're in?"  
"Don't worry," Meredith replied, adjusting her scrub top. "It's not Derek."  
"So who do I have to castrate then?" Cristina asked. "Because I've got the perfect rusty scalpel to do it."  
"Nobody!" she said with a laugh. "Trust me Cristina, when I'm ready to talk about it, you'll be the first to find out."  
"Fine," Cristina replied, walking out of the room, grabbing a chart from Avery's hands as she went.  
"YANG!" Avery yelled, running after her.

Meredith laughed, glad that her friend was back to her old self again. Turning around to make sure nobody else was around, she pulled out an ultrasound picture of "McBaby", "Mini McDreamy" or just "Mini" as they'd been referring to the baby. She stared at the picture, tracing along the baby's spine with one finger, a grin spreading across her face. Just then, she heard the door open so she tried to slide the scan picture under the stack of medical journals in her cubby, unsuccessfully as it started to crinkle and make noise. She whipped around, holding the scan behind her back, to see Cristina at the door.

"Did Avery finally catch you?" Meredith joked, as Cristina walkedacross the room.  
"Yes," Cristina rolled her eyes. "I'm sure Altman will let me scrub in anyway though. Everybody knows I'm the best cardiothoracic resident in this hospital."  
"That you are," Meredith replied, trying to shove the picture surreptitiously into her bag.  
"What are you doing?" Cristina asked, narrowing her eyes. "You're acting all squirrelly."  
"I am not!" Meredith replied, moving away from Cristina and towards the door.

Just then, Cristina lunged and grabbed the picture out of her hands. She studied it for two seconds, taking in the subject of the scan and the patient's name in the top left corner. Her jaw dropped and she raised her head to look at Meredith.

"Holy crap Meredith Grey. You're PREGNANT!" she shrieked, hugging her person tightly.  
"I am," Meredith replied tearfully. "Finally Cris, it just happened."  
"I am so proud of you," Cristina replied, grinning at her friend. "You've grown up."  
"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner," Meredith said. "I just wanted to wait till we reached the second trimester."  
"Hey, as long as I'm the godmother I really don't care. I'm totally the godmother, right?"  
"Who else would be able to make sure my kid's priorities were in order?" Meredith grinned, wiping away her tears carefully.  
"You did it Mer," Cristina said softly, staring at the scan. "Your baby is beautiful."

Just then, Bailey burst in and commanded their attention.

"Yang, Grey," she said quickly, halting once she saw Cristina's glee-filled face and Meredith's tear-stained one. "Everything alright here?"  
"It's fine Dr Bailey," Meredith said quickly, taking the scan and sliding it carefully into her locker.  
"I know when you're lying Grey, but let's just pretend I'm terrible at detecting your pathetic lies," Bailey replied with her hands on her hips. "I need somebody to go and take over the pit. Hunt got called into an emergency trauma surgery, and all the interns are babies. Can't trust them to wipe their own butts let alone look after patients alone."  
"I'll do it!" Cristina volunteered.  
"You just volunteered for the pit Cris," Meredith whispered. "You realise that, right?"  
"Your dreamy husband's doing a craniectomy in OR2 in ten minutes," Cristina replied. "I thought you might want to go scrub in so you guys can make goo-goo eyes over your abdomen."  
"You're the best person ever," Meredith replied, squeezing Cristina's hand gently.

Meredith jogged down to the OR floor and scrubbed in, pulling on a purple scrub cap and smiling as she saw her husband already in the OR interacting with the nurses. As she entered the room, Derek looked up and even though he was wearing a mask over his mouth, Meredith could see the creases of his eyes as he smiled at her.

"Nice to see you Doctor Grey," he said professionally. "You'll be first assist, if you'd like to take a place here to my left."  
"Of course Doctor Shepherd," she replied, winking at him quickly and grinning beneath her mask.

The flirty banter between the two of them never stopped, whether they were shopping for groceries, at home in the bedroom, or standing over an exposed brain. In fact, Meredith preferred the latter, because not only did she get a marvellous view of her husband's cute butt, but she also got a view into the human brain which she found fascinating.

"Alright folks," Derek said, snapping on his gloves. "It's a beautiful day to save some lives."

And with that, I fell into a familiar pattern of sutures, clamps, scalpels and my hand resting gently on my abdomen, where it had stayed for the best part of the last two weeks.


	9. Chapter 9 Second Trimester

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

Chapter Nine; Second Trimester

As soon as Meredith hit her second trimester, instead of her morning sickness diminishing it seemed to return with a vengeance. Except, Meredith pondered, it really shouldn't be called morning sickness as it seemed to last all day. Derek felt so guilty, she could tell, but he was the most attentive he'd ever been, constantly asking her if she felt okay, if she was hungry, if she needed anything. If she wasn't pregnant, she'd call it 'hovering' and tell him to stop. Because she was pregnant, however, she just knew he was being an attentive daddy and let him continue on his way. Meredith's tiny little bump had grown a little more and she was finally working up the courage to tell Bailey. Luckily she no longer had to tell the chief, because Derek was the chief and she knew he'd give her all the time off she wanted.

As Meredith threw up for the third time that morning, she started grumbling to herself and rubbed her stomach gently.

"Come on Mini," she said quietly as she left the bathroom. "You have to give mummy a break sometime soon, please."  
"Minnie?" Cristina said, sidling over. "Not that I was eavesdropping on your private conversation between you and your fetus, but you're calling it Minnie? As in, mouse?"  
"No, not Minnie as in mouse," Meredith replied. "Mini as in Mini McDreamy, a tiny version of my perfect husband."  
"Gag me," Cristina replied before stalking off down to the pit. "The mouse was better."

Meredith laughed as her friend walked away, and she turned her head down to look at her tiny bump again.

"Don't worry Mini," she replied. "Auntie Cristina really thinks you're amazing, I know."

Later that day, Meredith scrubbed into a routine appendectomy with Bailey, and just as Meredith was pulling up on the purse strings, she felt a strong wave of nausea hit her. As much as she tried to hide it, she felt the colour drain from her face and a very strong lump appeared in her throat.

"Grey," she heard Bailey say faintly. "Pull up on them, but be careful not to break them."  
Meredith ignored her, trying to swallow the lump.  
"Grey," Bailey repeated. "Are we just standing here for the fun of it or are you actually going to be a surgeon?"

Meredith swallowed once more, and then couldn't ignore the bile in her throat any longer. She dropped the purse strings, turned around and vomited all over the OR floor. She wiped her mouth and turned around to apologise to Bailey but Bailey held up her finger, signalling that she wanted silence. Meredith stepped back, as Bailey ordered the nurse to find a janitor and told Meredith to scrub out. Meredith was about to complain, but she saw no point, so she stepped into the scrub room, peeling off her gloves, mask and cap.

"So, Grey," Bailey said, following her out quickly once she'd tightened the purse strings. "If you're sick you should really go home. No need to infect everybody else with the flu."  
"I'm not sick," Meredith replied, scrubbing her fingernails with an uncharacteristic vigour.  
"Could've fooled me," Bailey replied. "Unless you've suddenly gone bulimic, which I highly doubt with that nit-picking husband of yours, you are ill."  
"No," Meredith replied, turning swiftly to Bailey. "But I am pregnant."  
Bailey opened her mouth, closed it again and her eyes grew wide.  
"Just hit my second trimester," Meredith said, turning to the sink. "And they say the morning sickness is supposed to be gone by now but I guess the baby just wants to remind me that he or she is most definitely here."  
"Congratulations Meredith," Bailey said softly, a hand on Meredith's upper forearm.  
Meredith turned to her, surprised and smiled. "Thanks Bailey."  
Bailey's smiled back and then stopped suddenly, reverting back to her classic Bailey tone of voice. "That may be all well and good," she told Meredith. "But the next time you throw up in my OR, be prepared to clean it up yourself."

Meredith left the OR and walked over to the elevators, pressing the up button. As the doors popped open, she saw Derek standing inside.

"Hey you," he said softly, pulling her into a gentle hug. "How's your day been?"  
"I threw up in the OR and told Bailey I was pregnant," she replied. "Yours?"  
"I told the chief," he replied with a wink. "He was very happy for us."  
"I bet he was," Meredith replied. "But I really hope he knew before today because I'm quite sure he was there when this little one was conceived."  
"Well that doesn't sound very chief-like," Derek said, kissing her neck.  
"He's pretty unprofessional," Meredith replied, wrapping her arms around Derek's waist. "But he's the best chief I know. And he's definitely got the cutest butt."  
"Mmm," Derek groaned gently. "Now is not the right time, Meredith, or the right place."  
"I know the right place," Meredith replied as the doors pinged open.

She dragged him across the hallway into his office, pulling shut the door and closing the blinds.

"You know," she said as she undid the buttons on Derek's shirt. "Aside from the nausea, another side effect of pregnancy is an increased sex drive."  
"No complaining here," Derek replied, losing the rest of his train of thought as she reached for his belt buckle.

On the way home, they pulled onto the ferry and together they walked up to the top, feeling the fresh air on their face.  
"So what do you want to do after Mini's born?" Derek asked, placing his hands on her belly.  
"I'm always going to want to be a surgeon, Derek," Meredith replied seriously.  
"I know," he assured her. "That's not what I meant. I meant, how much time were you thinking of taking off? Or whether we should start interviewing for a nanny?"  
"I don't want him or her so far away from us," Meredith replied, leaning back into Derek's hold, fitting her head neatly under his chin. "They have a crèche at the hospital. I thought we could check that out."  
"Sure," Derek replied. "That's a great option. But they only take babies from six weeks old, so would you want to stay home until then?"  
"Well," Meredith said. "I'd want to stay at home for at least the first six weeks any way, and possibly longer. I just want to wait and see what feels right then. Is that alright?"  
"Of course that's alright," Derek replied. "Whatever you want. You can stay at home with the baby as long as you like. You know that, right? It's not like we can't afford it."  
"That's not really the point though," Meredith replied. "What if I'm a terrible mum?"  
"We've been over this," Derek laughed. "You're already a great mother. I think the fact that you've been considering this already means that you'll be an even more amazing mother when this little bub is actually born."  
"Only a few more weeks," Meredith said dreamily. "Until we can stop referring to it as 'the baby' or 'him or her'. We'll know the gender for sure."  
"Unless our baby is shy," Derek teased her. "What if they have their legs crossed?"  
"You won't do that, will you baby?" Meredith crooned quietly to her baby. "You'll show mummy and daddy between your legs, won't you?"  
"Have you booked your scan for the seventeenth week yet?" Derek asked.  
"I have," Meredith smiled. "It's on the Tuesday at ten, and I've written it into your Blackberry, Patricia's diary and I'm sure I'll remind you on the day as well."  
"Thank-you," he whispered. "Now let's go home."

They got into the car just as the ferry pulled up on the other side, and they drove off and up to their home. Lucy greeted them happily at the gate, running alongside the car and barking until Meredith got out and petted her. As Derek parked the car and opened the front door, Meredith stood watching with her hands on her hips. She gently rubbed her stomach with one hand, smiling at her view. Her husband, their house and a baby on the way. Life was pretty perfect at that moment. Just then, she felt her stomach churn as the morning sickness returned. Well, almost perfect at least, she smiled. Derek turned around and grinned at her, knowing how she was contemplating their life.

"Honey," he said with a grin on his face. "We're home."

Meredith smiled, and walked towards him, taking his hand and walking into their home together. Herself, Derek and Mini, a tiny little family.


	10. Chapter 10 Seventeen Weeks

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

Chapter Ten; Seventeen Weeks

The weeks passed by in a blur, with Meredith trying to work extra hours in the OR to make up for those she would be missing with maternity leave. She was excited about the prospect of meeting her baby but really wasn't looking forward to missing out on so much at work. Since they'd chosen their specialties however, the hours had become slightly less strenuous and she'd requested to not have interns for the period between now and when she returned back at work after baby Shepherd's birth. The morning sickness continued to strike her through every day without fail, and Meredith was getting quite skilled at throwing up and managing to hold her hair out of her face.

"That's the fourth time this morning," Derek said, when Meredith walked into the kitchen. "Are you sure everything's okay?"  
"Baby just clearly doesn't like eggs," Meredith replied. "Or strawberries."  
"Or bacon, or pancakes, or waffles," Derek continued.  
"Well Mini's fussy!" Meredith replied, rubbing her belly gently. "Baby does like cold pizza though!"  
"That's really not healthy Mer, you know that," Derek sighed, sipping his coffee.  
"When you are able to carry our child in your uterus for nine months and then pop him or her out of a very small hole in your body, then you can choose not to eat cold pizza. For now, Mini thinks pizza is the best option and I'm inclined to agree."  
"Fine," Derek said, waving his hands in surrender and stifling a grin. "Pizza it is."

Meredith pulled a slice out of the fridge and sat on one of the stools at the kitchen, munching quietly.

"What time do you start today?" Derek asked her as he grabbed his briefcase and laptop.  
"I don't," she replied. "I've got the day off. For the ultrasound, remember?"  
She pointed to the post-it note that had been on the fridge for the past few weeks.  
"I wrote it into Patricia's diary," she said. "Ten o'clock at Dr Partridge's private suites."  
"Okay," Derek said. "I'll be there. Bye Mer, bye baby!"

He kissed Meredith quickly and then her stomach before practically running out of the house and jumping into the Porsche.

"Bye!" Meredith said with a laugh as she walked over to the fridge. "Well baby, what do you say to another slice of pizza?"

By mid-morning, Meredith had pulled on a pair of maternity jeans and a green flowy top. She was definitely showing noticeably these days, she realised as she analysed herself side-on to the mirror. A neat little bump protruded, still quite low but very obviously pregnant, especially on a woman with such a small frame as she. She said goodbye to Lucy before grabbing a bottle of water and heading out to her old jeep. She drove across town to the suites of Doctor Partridge, her new obstetrician, who had been recommended by Addison. Meredith had felt a little awkward when Derek told her about his conversation with Addison, but he insisted that she seemed perfectly happy, and that she was in a serious relationship with somebody called Sam.

She walked into the reception area, looking around to see if Derek was there yet. With nobody else in there but other pregnant women, she told the receptionist her name and sat down with the latest copy of the Journal of Neurosurgery, reading up on the latest technique for tumour resections in the frontal lobe. A few minutes later, her name was called and she wrinkled her brow. Derek still wasn't there, and she didn't really want to do this without him. She went into the office anyway, and perched on the examination table.

"Good morning Doctor Grey," said a curly-haired brunette as she swept into the room quietly. "It's nice to meet you, my name is Doctor Lauren Partridge."  
"Call me Meredith," Meredith smiled, extending her hand. "It's lovely to meet you. My husband Derek promised he'd be here, so I was hoping we could leave the ultrasound to the last part of our appointment? I know he'd be disappointed if he missed it."  
"That's absolutely fine," Doctor Partridge smiled. "Now let's check a few other things."

Meredith answered a series of questions, was weighed, prodded and poked and then finally, twenty minutes later, they were at the ultrasound.

"Do you know if your husband is still coming?" Doctor Partridge asked. "I just have another appointment in a few minutes and we need to check these measurements."  
"I paged him," Meredith muttered. "And texted him. Let's just do it."

She settled down further on the table, and lifted up her top as Doctor Partridge squeezed on the rather cold goo. A few seconds later, Meredith couldn't help the tears in her eyes as she saw a perfect profile of her baby. At just over seventeen weeks, she could see a perfectly developed nose and chin, and saw the dense white of the spine as it curved along the bottom of the screen. Doctor Partridge checked the direction of the blood flow in and out of the heart, and measured.

"Would you like to know the sex?" she asked, her hand poised to move the ultrasound wand.  
"That would be great," Meredith smiled.

She watched the screen as the ultrasound picture moved between the baby's legs. In that instant, she analysed and started to smile, a grin spreading across her face.

"Congratulations," Doctor Partridge said. "I'm sure you can see that, and I can see you're thrilled."  
"Definitely," Meredith grinned, wiping away a stray tear. "Thank-you so much. And I apologise on behalf of my husband, this really isn't his style at all."  
"Oh that's fine Meredith," she smiled, switching off the machine.

Later that night, Meredith was sitting at the kitchen counter, hunched over a bowl of strawberry ice-cream, when she heard the garage door open. Derek walked in the door, kicked off his shoes and ran a hand through his hair. He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, cracking it open before finally looked at Mer and gave her a tired smile.

"Long day?" she asked, stirring her ice-cream.  
"Really long, the longest," he replied, shutting the fridge and moving towards her. "How was yours?"

Meredith stood up, holding the post-it with the words "Ultrasound, Tuesday, 10am" on it, and stuck it on his beer bottle.  
"Shit," Meredith heard him say as she walked up the stairs to their bedroom. "Shit, shit, shit!"

Meredith walked into their bedroom, slamming the door behind her before walking straight into the bathroom and reaching for her toothbrush. She was too angry for words, so she relieved some of the pent-up rage by squeezing the toothpaste tube more forcibly than necessary and gritting her teeth firmly.

"Meredith," Derek said from behind her. "Meredith, please."  
"Don't even try to explain," she replied as she spat a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. "I made this appointment at a time that was specifically supposed to be suitable for you."  
"I forgot," he started to say, pleading with her.  
"You forgot?" she repeated incredulously, throwing her tiny fists down by her sides.  
"I finished an emergency craniotomy and fell asleep in my office, on my desk. When I woke up, I was about to be late for the tumour resection I've had booked for a week and it must have slipped my mind. I am so sorry, Meredith."  
"I told you this morning," Meredith said tearfully. "I reminded you. I wrote you a note and put it inside your briefcase, and another stuck onto the screen of your laptop. The post-it has been on the fridge for almost a month now. I wrote it in Patricia's diary and you knew I had the day off which is why I wasn't in that resection surgery with you! How could you possibly forget?"  
"Meredith," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Mer, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say. How can I possibly apologise?"  
"You can't," she replied angrily, feel emotions running rampant through her pregnant body. "Just leave me alone."

Derek walked closely behind her as she left the bathroom but she kept pushing him away. He folded his arms around her stomach, trying to hug her but Meredith elbowed him in the stomach and he finally let go, taking a step backwards and tiredly running a hand through his hair as he always does when he's stressed.

"Mer," he said quietly. "I love you."

Meredith lifted her eyes to look into his, and she began to cry harder, tears tumbling out of her eyes and tracking down her cheeks, landing on her protruding pregnant stomach.

"I really wanted you to be there," she whispered. "I really, really wanted you to be there."  
"I'm sorry," Derek said, pulling her into his arms and kissing the top of her head.

Meredith wiped a tear off her chin and reached into her bedside table, retrieving a roll of pictures.

"Here," she said, passing them to him. "I didn't want to bring these home for you. Luckily Doctor Partridge seems to be a lot more forgiving than me, as she stowed them in my purse when I turned around to clean myself off.

I wipe away a tear off my chin and pull out a roll of photos from my pocket.

"I don't know how to make this better," he said, holding the pictures but not looking at them, his eyes trained on her face and her very sad eyes.  
"I hate that you left me there alone," Meredith said, starting to sob quietly again.  
"I hate myself for leaving you there alone," he replied quietly, rubbing her back gently.  
"You can't just not show up Derek," she said. "There are times when I really need you there, and now, when I'm pregnant with your child, is one of those times."  
"I know," he told her, hugging her close. "I know and I'm so sorry."

She lead him to the bed, where he sits and she snuggles into his lap, placing his hand on her stomach.  
"This is Mini's face," she told him. "Totally got my nose, luckily."  
He laughed, and rifled through the rest of the photos, exclaiming over their baby's perfect lips or the curve of her beautiful spine. He paused as he hit the last one, turning Meredith's head to face him.  
"It's a girl," he said in awe, pointing out the three small white dots between the baby's legs. "We're having a baby girl."  
"We are," Meredith said, kissing him gently.  
"Now," Derek said softly, trailing his hands down her sides. "Am I still in the dog-house, or can we go to bed."  
"I'm pretty sure we're already here," Meredith said as the ultrasound photos fluttered onto the floor and she kissed him deeply.


	11. Chapter 11 Half Way Gone

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

Chapter Eleven; Half Way Gone

Meredith stalked into her bedroom, a cross look on her face as she threw herself down on the mattress. She buried her face in the pillows, muttering to herself. Derek walked out of the bathroom and was met with the sight of his pregnant wife laying on her side, her face hidden in the mounds of pillows at the end of their bed.

"Meredith," he said tentatively. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing."  
"Meredith," he repeated, cautious of her pregnancy hormones. "I know something's wrong. What is it?"  
"Ihaddagetfapsubs," she mumbled into the pillows.  
"As much as I love you, I really can't understand you when you talk into the cushions," Derek said, laying down with his body parallel to hers, and turning her chin towards him. "Now what's wrong?"  
She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "I had to get fat scrubs today."

Derek did his best to stifle a grin, but the laughter was highlighted in his blue eyes.  
"Derek!" Meredith said, frowning. "It's not funny! I had to get like large pants because even the medium just wasn't going to cut it. This baby is becoming a pain in the arse!"  
"You don't mean that," Derek said softly, smoothing her hair. "And I'm sorry that you're upset but Mer, this is a normal part of every pregnancy. Your body has to get bigger to make room for our beautiful baby girl."  
"Speaking of our beautiful baby girl," Meredith said. "She will be twenty weeks old tomorrow."  
"Half way to meeting her," Derek grinned. "Now, shall we get some dinner for you and Mini?"  
"Yes please," Meredith said, lifting up her shirt and rubbing her belly. "Mini definitely likes the sound of that."

Derek smiled at the view of his beautiful wife, caressing her bump so gently. As much as she complained about the big scrubs, or the still present morning sickness, he knew that she already was a great mother, and she loved this baby more than anything. She'd made him promise not to tell anybody else, but she had purchased a Doppler machine online, and before they went to bed each night, baby Shepherd's heartbeat lulled them to sleep.

The night passed slowly, with Meredith sleeping fitfully. She was starting to feel uncomfortable lying on her back and struggled to find a better position, tossing all through the night and into the early hours of the morning. By the time they had to get up, Meredith had gotten about three hours of sleep and Derek was lucky to get anything more. Meredith had even suggested that Derek sleep in the guest room, feeling guilty because of the sleep she was robbing him of, but he wouldn't hear about it.

"Abandonment issues, right?" he replied, snuggling closer to her and stroking her stomach.  
"Right," she replied, settling quietly.

Meredith walked through the halls of Seattle Grace alone as Derek had dashed up to his office to fill out a stack of paperwork for a new Alzheimer's clinical trial he was starting. Although Meredith had badly wanted to help Derek with it, she knew that while the clinical trial was currently Derek's baby, she had her own baby to take care of and long nights logging and analysing data was not conducive to pregnancy. She scrubbed in on a craniectomy with 'Shadow Shepherd' before finally meeting Derek in OR3 where they successfully removed a tumour using the Shepherd method. As they scrubbed out, Derek saw Meredith's face and asked her what she was thinking.

"Do you remember how mad I was about the 'Shepherd Method' thing?" she asked.  
"Oh yes," he said, nodding his head.  
"Well I was just thinking that it really doesn't matter anymore because you're no longer the only Shepherd in this family. You're a Shepherd, but I'm a Shepherd too. So it really is both of ours."  
"As it will be hers," Derek said, kissing her belly through her scrub top.  
"Seriously?" Cristina said as she rounded the corner. "Through the scrubs McDreamy? Do you not know where those things have been? Or what bodily fluid they've been covered in?"  
"What are you doing here Cristina?" Derek said, shaking his head while laughing inside.  
"Collecting Mer for our lunch date. You don't want your baby to starve, right?"  
"Right," he agreed, letting Meredith's hand go reluctantly. "I've got a clinical trial patient tonight Meredith, so I'll be home a little late."  
"Okay," she said, following Cristina to the cafeteria.

They walked through the cafeteria, both holding trays. By the time they got to the check-out, Cristina's plate held a Greek salad, a green apple and a bottle of water. Meredith's, by stark contrast, held a plate of nachos, a serving of fries, a chicken burger, onion rings and two cans of caffeine-free Coke, as well as the cookie she snatched off the bench just before she paid.

"You've got enough to feed an army," Cristina said dryly. "For several days."  
"I'm hungry!" Meredith said defensively, eating a fry. "I am eating for two, you know?"  
"Two," Cristina said, stealing a fry for herself. "Not two hundred."  
"Gee thanks Cristina," Meredith said. "Call the pregnant woman fat why don't you?"  
"We all know you're far from fat," Cristina said. "You're just an incubator."  
"An incubator, seriously?"  
"Where's the incubator?" April cut in as the two sat down at the table.  
"Right here," Meredith said, circling her belly with her fingers as she put her tray down.  
"Wow Mer," April said with a chuckle. "You're really... big."  
"I hate you all," Meredith said darkly. "You're lucky I'm not holding a scalpel right now, because I swear, your carotid artery is only twelve inches away from me, April."

April's eyes widened and then she started to laugh, stopping suddenly as she saw Meredith glower at her.

"Seriously though," April said. "You look great."  
"Great for an incubator," Cristina quipped.  
"You all suck," Meredith said grumpily, eating her nachos slowly and alternating between fries and onion rings."  
"Oh my god," Cristina said, her mouth gaping open as she looked over Meredith's head. "It's the wife."  
"What do you mean 'the wife'?" Meredith asked. "Who's wife?"  
"Is that Addison?" Alex asked, craning his neck to get a better look.  
"Excuse me," Meredith said to Cristina. "You do realise that I'm the wife, right?"  
"Oh," Cristina said thoughtfully. "I guess that means you are now the she-Shepherd. And Addison's just... Addison?"  
"Oh crap," Alex said. "She's coming over here."

Just then, Meredith felt a light tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see a towering redhead wearing a pair of Manolo Blahnik stilettos and carrying the latest Chanel purse.

"Addison," she said with an awkward smile, holding out her hand. "It's so good to see you."  
"And you too!" Addison smiled genuinely as she pulled her into a hug.  
As she stepped back from the hug, Addison looked down at Meredith's stomach.  
"Oh my god Meredith, you're so... glowing!"

Meredith imagined the cut-throat looks her friends were making behind her back, telling Addie to lay off.

"Thanks," Meredith smiled grimly. "I'm definitely pregnant."  
"Congratulations by the way," Addison said. "Derek sounded so excited when he told me."  
"Well you know Derek," Meredith smiled. "He's like a kid on Christmas day usually, and this has just pushed him into hyper-excited and over-protective mode. He's already acting like a dad."  
"I bet," Addison said as she smiled and turned to walk away.  
"Oh, Addison," Meredith said. "May I ask what you're doing here?"  
"The chief called me in," Addison said, looking around subtly. "Apparently there's a mother with multiples due to come into the hospital for bed-rest tomorrow?"  
"But only triplets," Meredith said, relaying the news she'd heard along the grapevine. "Are there other problems?"  
"There may well be," Addison said. "Now I'm very sorry Meredith but I've got a meeting I need to get to."

She turned quickly on her heel and walked quickly towards the elevator, as Meredith watched her leave, trying to figure out why she'd seemed so awkward. Meredith shook it off and walked back to the table, sitting down and taking a huge bite out of her burger as she watched Alex and Cristina squabble over her fries.

Addison rode the elevator up two floors, getting out and striding purposefully toward Derek's office.

"You do realise, don't you," Addison began as she pushed open the door and walked towards Derek sitting at his desk. "That your wife has no clue why I'm here?"  
"I am aware, yes," Derek said, getting up to close the door behind Addison before giving her a hug. "And it's nice to see you Addie."  
"It's nice to see you too McDaddy," Addison joked. "Now why haven't you told Meredith that you brought me here for her?"  
"She doesn't think anything's wrong."  
"Well is there anything wrong?"  
"She's working too hard, too many hours in the OR. She had some minor spotting a few days ago and she was fine about it but it's got me stressed out. And she's still got terrible morning sickness. Isn't all that crap supposed to be over by now?"  
"Honestly Derek, it sounds exactly like the pregnancy of a surgical resident. There's nothing for me to do."  
"But there could be, and we all know you're the best in the country. I'm asking this as a favour, Addison. Please just stick around for a while, at least until we're sure everything's okay?"  
"Fine," Addison said, rolling her eyes. "But you better come up with a better excuse than the lady having triplets because there's no way that Meredith's buying that lie."

Late that night, after Derek had finished his clinical trial operation, he snuck home and into the bedroom expecting to find Meredith already asleep. Instead she was propped up on a few pillows, reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting". Derek smiled and kissed her.

"How was the op?" she asked, barely looking up from her chapter.  
"It went fine," Derek smiled.  
"And how was your ex-wife," she continued, still reading.  
"It was just as a shock for me as it was for you," he lied, hoping she wouldn't be able to tell. "But it was okay seeing her again. Are you okay?"  
"I'm better than okay," Meredith replied, placing his open palm flat against her stomach. "I'm wonderful."

Meredith opened her eyes wide as she felt a slow ripple spread across her belly.

"The baby just moved, Derek," she said, awe evident in her hushed tones.  
"I didn't feel anything," Derek said.  
"Shh," she said, raising a finger to his lips. "Just wait. Baby might oblige again."  
And just as she finished speaking, the ripple spread across her belly once more, but this time stronger and she knew from the look in Derek's eyes that he'd felt it too.

"That's our baby," he said reverently, kissing her belly and her neck and everything else he could reach.

Meredith reached for the Doppler and smoothed it over her taut skin. She and Derek snuggled close, falling asleep to the quiet "woosh woosh" of their daughter's heartbeat. Everything was just as it should be.


	12. Chapter 12 Heart

**This is an extremely short chapter, but I felt it had to be written this way. Please read and review, this was one of the hardest chapters to write for me and I'm not sure I wrote it well. Your feedback would be VERY much appreciated!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

Chapter Twelve; Heart

She'd just come off a thirty-six hour shift, but when she heard that Derek had another clinical trial patient, Meredith just couldn't tear herself away from the gallery. She sat up there, with one hand on her bump and the other folded under her chin, keeping her head up. She was dead-tired and really hungry, so she snagged a granola bar from the vending machine outside and kept herself awake by flicking through the ultrasounds she had of baby Shepherd on her iPhone. Tracing the baby's tiny nose, the swell of her sweet cheeks and the pout of her tiny lips. Meredith could spend hours looking at those pictures, because even though she knew the biology of conception inside and out, she was in awe of this perfect little baby that she and Derek had created.

Derek stood down in the OR, about to close when he looked up and saw Meredith in the gallery. Looking at his watch, he knew that Meredith was supposed to finish her shift two hours ago, but he also knew that she hated going home to their empty house. He saw the iPhone in her hand, and watched as her finger dragged across the screen. He could only guess that she was looking at Mini, the same way he did whenever he had a moment spare. Just then, she looked up and caught his gaze, smiling and giving him a tiny wave with a flick of her fingers. He smiled back and then turned to Alex, asking him to close for him.

Derek walked into the scrub room, ripping off his gloves and mask, scrubbing underneath his fingernails. He turned around and found Meredith standing there. He pulled her into a tight hug, the crown of her head fitting just beneath his chin.

"Long day," he said quietly. "Are you and baby ready to go home?"  
"Yes," she whispered quietly, sinking into his strength.

She leaned on him, and he supported her weight easily, as if she was as light as a feather. Derek noted the purple circles under her eyes and grew concerned. It wasn't the time to discuss things with her, when she was so exhausted, but they'd have to talk soon. She was working too hard, and he was worried. He put it out of his head for the night, helping Meredith out to the car and they drove home together. They got home, and too tired to change, Meredith stripped off her pants and collapsed into the bed wearing just her soft woollen sweater and her underwear. Derek hugged her close, and Meredith switched on the Doppler. Never too tired to listen to their baby's heartbeat, they both lay there listening until Meredith drifted off to sleep and her hand slipped, the Doppler lying silent on the bed next to them.

When Derek opened his eyes the next morning, the sun was bright and streaming through their windows, and he already felt sticky from the perspiration. He blinked twice and reached up to rub his eyes. He pulled back his hand in shock, staring at his fingers. Red. His fingers were red. He stripped back the bed-sheets and there was Meredith, lying in a pool of blood. His breath hitched as he shook her awake.

"Meredith," he said panicked. "Meredith you need to wake up!"  
"Derek," she complained, tossing her head. "This is my only day off for the next week. Please can't I just sleep in? We can have sex tonight."  
"Meredith, you have to get up," he insisted. "We have to go to the hospital."  
With that, she sat up and looked him straight in the eyes. She followed his gaze back to the sheets, where the blood had pooled around her body overnight. Her eyes went wide and blank and she hugged her arms around her stomach.

"No," she whispered, and then screamed it. "NO! We can't lose this baby Derek. We can't lose our baby girl, not again."

With that, she started sobbing uncontrollably, fat tears of anguish and grief pouring down her cheeks. Derek picked up the phone and called Addison frantically.

"Meredith's haemorrhaging," he said. "Meet us at the hospital?"

Without hearing her reply, he slammed the phone down, pulled on a t-shirt and scooped Meredith into his arms.

"We're going to Seattle Grace," he said, not caring that Meredith was still wearing her blood-soaked pyjama pants or that he was only wearing a t-shirt and boxer shorts. "We're going now."

Meredith buried her head into his chest, feeling the scar through his shirt. So much loss was unfair, and they couldn't deal with another. Derek could feel Meredith trembling in his arms and he felt like crying as well. He bundled her into the car and strapped on her seatbelt, running around the other side and jumping into the driver's seat. The engine growled loudly as he turned it on, accelerator pressed to the floor. They got onto the first ferry and made it to the hospital in record time. Twelve minutes, when it usually took thirty.

Derek parked illegally in an ambulance bay but he honestly couldn't give a shit about parking tickets at that current moment. He cradled Meredith in his arms once more and walked into the hospital. The lobby was buzzing with people despite the early hour, but he could hear the hush fall over the room as people stood back, to watch the dark-haired man with a tiny blonde woman in his arms. Both figures were now covered in blood and the grief on both of their faces was unmistakeable. The crowd parted instantly, and Derek staggered through, looking left and right, trying to pick Addison's face from the crowd. Instead, he met the warm brown eyes of Bailey.

He looked into her eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came except a deep, guttural sob. His heart was breaking, and he couldn't hide it any longer. Bailey bustled them into an exam room, and within two minutes Addison was standing above the table where Meredith lay, her eyes squeezed shut and her hand clasped tightly in Derek's. Her other hand was curled around her stomach, gripping it with that firm, gentle grasp.

"When did it start?" Addison asked.  
"We went to bed last night and everything was fine. We woke up this morning like this," Derek choked out through his sobs.  
"I have to get a portable ultrasound but I'll be back in two minutes. Hold on."

Derek sat on the edge of the bed and curled Meredith up into his arms.

"We'll have more babies," he promised Meredith. "We'll have a dozen more babies. It's going to be okay."

Meredith put a hand on his chest, and looked into his eyes.

"Nothing's ever going to be okay again," she said, as she burst into tears once more.

Derek looked down at his chest, unable to view his wife's utter grief. Her hand had left a mark on his shirt. A bloody handprint, above his heart. He was hurting too.


	13. Chapter 13 Soul

**I'm so sorry I left it this long between updates, particularly because of the cliff-hanger on the last one. Hopefully this chapter will make up for it!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

"_We'll have more babies," he promised Meredith. "We'll have a dozen more babies. It's going to be okay." _

_Meredith put a hand on his chest, and looked into his eyes. _

"_Nothing's ever going to be okay again," she said, as she burst into tears once more. _

_Derek looked down at his chest, unable to view his wife's utter grief. Her hand had left a mark on his shirt. A bloody handprint, above his heart. He was hurting too._

Chapter Twelve; Soul

It wasn't often that Meredith panicked. Like she so often told Derek, she was the daughter of an excellent surgeon and she'd grown up to be independent. She was good in a crisis, she could weather a storm. She'd lived through countless obstacles, supported all her friends through theirs and had muddled her way through losing their first baby. As Derek watched her, he just felt hopeless. It wasn't fair in the least. They had already lost one baby, surely they couldn't lose another so soon.

He held Meredith in his arms tightly, hugging her close, trying to radiate some sort of hope so that she didn't feel as empty as he did. He tried to focus on the baby's heartbeat, thinking back to the soft thud-thud from the night before, but all he saw when he closed his eyes was the pool of blood that Meredith had woken up in. He'd seen a lot of blood. This was a lot of blood.

Meredith had kept silent since telling Derek that it would never be okay again. He knew how she felt; he didn't know how they would move on if Addison confirmed their worst fear. Time dragged on and five minutes had passed before Addison finally returned.

"I am so sorry," she said. "Stupid techs."

She plugged the machine in and booted it up quickly.

"I'm going to do a quick vaginal exam if that's okay, Meredith," she said. "I just need you to change into this gown."

Meredith stared blankly up at Derek who helped her out of her sweater and flannelette pyjama pants before tying the gown on gently. She lay back down on the bed and he took her hand, watching as her other hand curled once more around her belly. Addison worked quickly and efficiently, and Meredith kept a stony face as Addison checked underneath her gown.

"You've lost a substantial amount of blood," Addison said quietly and calmly. "I'm sure you already know but I have to let you know that there is a chance that this could cause problems for the baby. We'll have a look at the ultrasound and go from there."

She turned to the machine, grabbing the wand and spreading the cold gel onto Meredith's swollen belly.

"It'll be okay," Derek said desperately, wanting more than anything to comfort Meredith. "We can have more babies. We will have more babies, Mer."

Just then, the screen lit up and Meredith's eyes widened in shock. She was glued to it, staring as Addison moved the wand, finding the best angle of the baby. Derek and Meredith were both looking for the same thing, a flickering of black and white in the chest area, the baby's heart beating. Meredith's grip tightened on Derek's hand, squeezing it so hard that he thought it would break. His gaze never faltered as he kept searching the ultrasound looking for the little blip. All of a sudden, Meredith pointed at the picture and then looked up at Derek.

"I think this one's going to stay," she said quietly, reaching up for him.

He kissed her quickly, unable to move his gaze from the machine. Right there, was their daughter, with her heart beating beautifully, albeit a little fast. Addison took measurements and checked the blood flow into and out of the heart. Finally, she turned to them with a grave look on her face.

"Your baby is fine, for now," she said. "But Meredith you've got Class 2 Placental Abruption, meaning that your baby has already gone into distress and may continue to go into distress as you progress in your pregnancy. I'm going to get you to stay in overnight for a blood transfusion and just to keep an eye on both you and the baby. We don't know exactly what caused it but we do know how to prevent it from worsening."  
"Bed rest," Meredith said, stroking her stomach.  
"Full bed rest," Addison confirmed. "I don't want you out of bed except to go to the bathroom for at least a week, and we'll see how you're doing after that. If you haven't had any more bleeding and no pain, then we'll go from there."  
"No more work then," Meredith joked light-heartedly, looking up at Derek.  
"Don't worry," Derek told her. "The Chief's more than happy to approve any time off needed."  
"You are the chief, Derek," Meredith whispered gently.

Addison excused herself from the room and left Meredith and Derek alone, processing what had gone on.

"This is all my fault," Meredith said, biting at her bottom lip. "I worked too hard and now our baby's in distress."  
"Mini will be fine," Derek said. "Now we just have to take extra-special care of both of you. Do you want me to go get you some clothes from home? It sounds silly to be concerned with your appearance but I think you might scare the other patients."  
"Do you still have those yoga pants in your office?" she asked.  
Derek kissed her, and promised to go check.

He left her alone, sitting on the bed, to contemplate what was happening.

"Well baby," she said gently. "I'm sorry about this, but now you and I are having some extra-special bonding time. Just you, me and a very comfortable bed. I'll have to introduce you to the awful world of daytime television. And as much as I hate that this has happened, it will be nice to have a bit of a rest. We'll be okay, I'm sure. No more scares though, okay?"

She pushed herself up into a sitting position, cradling both hands under her belly. Rocking back and forward, she started humming a silly little song from her childhood. And for the first time that morning, she felt Mini shift under her skin, rolling gently from one side to the other. To Meredith, it was a welcome sign of relief, and she smiled as she kept humming, keeping the connection between her and her baby alive and well. 


	14. Chapter 14 Choices, Choices

**So it's been a long time between updates and for that I apologise. I got writer's block and just couldn't find a way to continue with the story. I got a little inspired (and encouraged :P) by my friend Eve who just started writing her own fanfic. So this one's for you, EP4. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

Chapter Fourteen; Choices, Choices

Bed rest sucked. Meredith had taken to spending her days on the couch, and had already memorised the daytime television schedule. Oprah, Dr Phil, Ellen and even Judge Judy if she didn't fall asleep before then. She couldn't go for a walk outside on their land, she couldn't dance it out like Cristina suggested, she couldn't even have sex with Derek! Addison had let that little bit of news slip before she left the hospital, and Meredith saw Derek's cautious smile falter slightly. He'd slapped it back on his face, and whispered quietly that he'd make it worth the wait, once their baby was finally born. The thought of waiting another seventeen weeks for sex made Meredith weak at the knees, and not just because they hadn't been used for days.

Derek was, as always, being a complete gentleman. He even insisted on carrying Meredith around the house, which she hated because she knew it put strain on his chest, and she often ran her fingers softly down the pink scar just below his shirt buttons. He catered to her every whim, cooked whatever she requested and told her constantly how brave she was for doing this for their baby. Meredith didn't feel brave though, she just felt bored and stuck, but she would do anything for her baby.

Late that afternoon, when Derek's car finally drove down their driveway, Meredith woke immediately from her nap and sat up in bed. She heard the keys turn in the door and the lock click, and Lucy's happy barks as she greeted Derek at the door.

"Meredith?" Derek called.  
"In bed," Meredith said. "Exactly where I've been for the past three weeks, Derek!"

She heard his heavy footsteps up the stairs and grinned as he entered the bedroom. He walked over and collapsed onto the bed, his face buried into the pillows.

"How was your day?" they both asked at the same time.  
"Mine first," Meredith said. "It's clearly the least exciting."  
"Debatable," Derek laughed, hugging her tightly.  
"Well, Oprah was awful, but Ellen Pompeo was on the Ellen show, and you know how much I love her. And she has the most gorgeous little baby girl called Stella!"  
"Pretty soon we'll have our own gorgeous little baby girl," Derek said, rubbing Mer's belly gently.  
"We will," Meredith agreed. "But I really hope that my appointment with Addison tomorrow goes well enough that I can get OFF bed rest and go back to work! What's gossip at the hospital?"  
"Paperwork," Derek said, sighing loudly and rubbing his forehead. "Lots of paperwork. This whole chief thing really sucks sometimes."  
"But you love it, right? The paperwork's worth it in the end?"  
"Most of the time," Derek agreed. "But if I was just a plain old neurosurgeon I'd have a lot more time at home with you and Mini."  
"You've never been a plain old neurosurgeon," Meredith said, running her hands through his curls. "You've always been the spectacular neuro-god and sex-god, Derek Shepherd."  
"Sounds like me," Derek smiled, kissing her gently. "Any chance Addison will overturn her other decisions as well as the bed rest?"  
"I doubt it, "Meredith replied with a loud sigh, crossing her arms over her bump. "Ouch!"

She rubbed her belly in gentle circles, trying to calm down the frantic kicking that was going on.  
"Mini," Derek said, pressing his lips to Meredith's belly. "You really have to calm down a bit. We know you're excited to meet us, and you don't know how excited we are to meet you, but you really need a little bit more time in there to develop, okay? So calm down, and let Mummy have some peace and quiet."

Meredith sighed happily, lying on her side and watching her husband talk to her belly. She could deal with the bed rest, she supposed, as long as her days all ended like this.

Late the next morning, Meredith walked slowly up to Addison's consulting room on the third floor of SGMW. Derek had tried to insist on a wheelchair, but Meredith had threatened that if he made her use a wheelchair it would be a hell of a lot longer than seventeen weeks before they'd be having sex again. Not surprisingly, he'd backed right off and only insisted on accompanying her upstairs and into the room.

By the time Addison swirled into the room, Meredith was already settled on the bed and had her shirt pulled up over her rather expansive belly.

"Okay," Addison said. "Let's have a look at the baby here."  
"Great," Derek said, smiling at Meredith encouragingly .

The ultrasound wand slid over her belly, bringing up a clear picture of their daughter.

"Her size is great for 24 weeks," Addison said, taking some quick measurements. "Right on target. I'm just going to have a quick look at your placenta."

Moving the wand lower, Addison stared at the screen carefully.

"And the placenta has shifted slightly, away from the cervix, which is good. And it hasn't detached any more from the uterine wall. Have you had any spotting?"  
"Nope, none since that first week of bed rest," Meredith said.  
"Fantastic. Well you are free to be off bed rest for the mean time, but no work. You shouldn't spend longer than two or three hours on your feet at any one time. Keep hydrated and rested. And still no sex, I'm afraid."  
"Sorry Derek," Meredith said, poking her tongue out.  
"Anything for Mini," Derek replied, shaking his head at Meredith.  
"Have you guys chosen a name?" Addison asked while she was cleaning the ultrasound equipment.  
"We haven't even really looked," Derek said. "I haven't had that much time."  
"I've been flipping through a few baby books," Meredith said, "But I haven't found anything special yet."  
"My last patient in LA named her twins Diesel Harley and Carson Bentley."  
"Wow," Meredith said wincing. "That is a lot of automobile references in two names. I can't say I'm really into the 'themed' thing, I just want to find a sweet, simple name that works well with Shepherd."  
"Sounds like a good plan," Addison smiled. "Okay Meredith, I'll see you in two weeks time!"  
"Thanks Addison," Derek and Meredith said as they left the exam room.  
"You know what this means, right?" Meredith said to Derek as they walked down to the lobby.  
"You can watch daytime television whilst standing up?" he teased.  
"Shut up," she said, poking him in the side. "It means that we can finally go shopping for nursery stuff!"  
"Yay," Derek replied, poking his tongue out at her. "Tomorrow then? I've got the day off."  
"That sounds like a plan," Meredith said, reaching up for a quick kiss before she got back in the car and drove home.

That night, when Derek finally got home from surgeries, he found Meredith on the couch, curled up with a book.

"Hey," he said quietly, kissing her. "How're you doing?"  
"Enjoying being able to stand," she grinned. "I made dinner! There's a lasagne in the oven. The sauce is out of a jar, but it should still taste okay."  
"Trust me," Derek said. "I haven't had a thing to eat all day, I'm sure it tastes amazing."

He sank next to her on the couch, and wrapped one arm around her, balancing the other hand on her belly. He felt the soft kicks of the baby, hitting against his palm.

"Hi Mini," he said. "I hope you've been nice to mummy today."  
"She's been fine," Meredith said. "But I think we really need to find her a real name. Not just Mini."  
"Any suggestions?" Derek asked.  
Meredith passed him the book she was reading, and he read the title.  
"10,000 Names for Your Baby," he said. "I'm not sure I have the patience to read 10,000 names tonight."  
"Well, only half of them are for girls," Meredith teased. "But I've got a couple of favourites."  
"Which are?"  
"Emily," she suggested. "Emily Shepherd sounds really cute. Or Leah? And then there was Zoe, Abigail, Olivia, Hannah, Imogen or Piper as well."  
"Lots of names to choose from," he said with a smile. "At least we won't be stuck for choices."  
"What do you like?"  
"I really like Emily. And Hannah and Leah are pretty cute too," he said. "How about we just stick with those for now, and decide later, over some lasagne?"  
"Or we could call her a mixture of all three," Meredith teased, rubbing her belly and grinning. "Emileahannah?"  
"Oh that's beautiful," Derek grinned. "Emileahannah it is."  
"Poor baby," Meredith sighed, as Derek kissed her belly. "I promise we won't call you anything too crazy."  
"Dinner?" Derek asked, helping Meredith to stand.  
"Dinner," Meredith agreed, hugging her husband close.


	15. Chapter 15 Emerald?

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

Chapter Fifteen; Emerald?

By the time Meredith's pregnancy rolled around to thirty weeks, Addison had finally agreed to let her go back to work. Of course by this time it was almost pointless, as her maternity leave would start in another two weeks. Either way, Meredith relished being able to get back into her scrubs (albeit a size or two larger than she had last worn them) and back to the hospital. On Addison's and Derek's orders, she was on light shifts, with no more than six hours of work a day and at least three days off per week. She had wheedled her way into spending extra time in the gallery watching longer procedures, and Derek had snuck her into a quick appendectomy so she could get her hands dirty.

"Finally," she sighed quietly as she pulled the scalpel across her patient's abdomen.  
"Good to be back, Grey?" Bailey asked her from her spot next to Meredith, watching all her moves.  
"You better believe it," Meredith replied as she suctioned around the incision site. "I'd do anything for this baby, but I seriously just wanted to be back here for a few more weeks before she decides to grace us with her presence."  
"I can definitely sympathise. Those last few weeks on maternity leave waiting for Tuck were torture," Miranda grimaced. "Although it did let us get the nursery ready."  
"Derek and I still haven't really sorted that out," Meredith said as she located the inflamed appendix. "I mean, he painted it a few weeks ago and I had to go stay at Cristina's place for the weekend because he wouldn't let me in the house with the paint fumes, but other than that baby pink paint and the few pieces of furniture, it's pretty bare."  
"Babies don't need any of that fancy hoo-hah that people get all excited about anyway," Bailey muttered. "Stupid little paintings on the wall or whether their curtains are paisley or check, babies don't care! All they do is eat, sleep and poop in a long, vicious cycle. Nurseries are fun, Grey, but they sure as hell aren't necessary for a baby. Honestly you'll probably end up with her in bed with you half the time anyway."  
"That's what I tried to tell Derek," Meredith said as she removed the appendix. "But did he listen? Nope. He went straight out and to the closest hardware store to get all excited about paint samples. I figure as long as I have diapers and clothes and those wipe things to clean her butt, we should be fine."

She finished the appendectomy with no complications, and walked into Derek's office down the hall where she collapsed into his chair with a smile.  
"Thank you Der," she said. "It felt great just holding a scalpel again."  
"Anything for you," he winked. "Are you off now?"  
"I am, but I'm having lunch with Cristina and then she's going to drop me home. I have to ask her about the whole godmother thing."  
"Oh great," Derek muttered. "Cristina gets to raise our baby if we die."  
"Well, Cristina and whoever you choose as the godfather," Meredith smiled, poking him gently.  
"Maybe Mark isn't the best choice then," Derek laughed. "If our baby is raised by Cristina and Mark she has no chance of growing up into a normal adult."  
"Yeah well, you and I met after a one-night-stand, Derek. I don't think normal really applies to us either."  
"Probably not," he said, hugging her quickly as she stood up from her chair. "But I'm glad. Enjoy your lunch."

After lunch, Meredith arrived back home to find a truck idling outside the door.  
"Hi there," a burly man said. "We're from Babyland, come to deliver some furniture?"  
"Sure," Meredith said. "Just let me grab the key."

She opened the door and watched as he piled in box after box, all ordered by Derek. She had no clue what could possibly be in the boxes. They already had a crib, a set of drawers, a changing table and the room had inbuilt wardrobes. What more could a baby possibly need?

The men assembled the furniture and left before Meredith walked into the nursery to find out what exactly the furniture was. Nestled in one corner off the room was a gorgeous oak rocking chair with a padded seat and back, and a matching padded footrest. In the centre of the room was an elaborate baby bouncer and activity table, and by the door was a "Jolly Jumper" and a beautiful bassinette. Meredith smiled, knowing that her husband was more sucked in by all the baby paraphernalia than she was.

When Derek arrived home from work, he walked around the house till he found Meredith in her pyjamas, settled into the rocking chair, reading her belly a story. He was about to sneak away to get the camera when she looked up.  
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked him with a smile.  
"Nowhere," he said, walking over to help her up from the chair.

She stood up facing him, her belly a barrier between and Derek looked down and smiled.  
"Pretty soon this baby will be out of there," he said. "And we'll be able to hold her in our arms."  
"Yeah well, not too soon. I'd really prefer if she had developed lungs. Other than that though, I'm all for getting her out. I feel massive and achy and just plain fat."  
"You're beautiful," Derek said, leaning over to kiss her gently. "Absolutely beautiful."  
"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say," Meredith said with a wink.  
"I sure hope nobody else is saying it, because you're all mine."  
"I know," she said, leaning forward and resting her head on his shoulder.

Over dinner, they started discussing baby names again.  
"So I know we really like Emily or Leah or Hannah for the first name," Derek said. "But we need to figure out her middle name."  
"Or middle names," Meredith said. "I have two."  
"I thought it was just Meredith Ivy?"  
"Nope. Meredith Ivy Ellis. I think you can guess why I don't share that information too readily."  
"Indeed," he said, taking a huge bite of his chicken parmigiana. "Well two middle names it is. There's also a tradition in my family where the first child has a middle name after how the parents met. It's kind of cheesy, but Kathleen's middle name is Virginia, because that's where my parents met when they were teenagers."  
"I can't say I really like Seattle as a middle name," Meredith teased.  
"I was thinking something more specific about how we met," Derek laughed.  
"How did we meet again? Oh yeah, too much tequila and too much whisky, single malt, if I remember correctly. So would you prefer Tequila or Whisky as her middle name?" Meredith teased.  
"Well I was thinking Emerald, but sure, Tequila's cute," he laughed.  
"Why Emerald?" Meredith asked, with a confused look on her face.  
"You know that Joe's isn't really just called Joe's, right? It's called the Emerald City Bar. I know Emerald's a bit different, but it's still pretty cute."  
"I like that," Meredith said, smiling at how cute her husband was when he was rambling. "But what about for her second middle name?"  
"Now that, my dear, is your choice."  
She pondered for a while and then a smile drew across her face. "Grace. For Seattle Grace and also kind of after Grey. I mean, she'll be a Shepherd but I'm sure she'll still have a little bit of Grey in her too, so Grace."  
"Leah Emerald Grace, Hannah Emerald Grace or Emily Emer..." Derek started to laugh.  
"Okay, yeah, Emily's off the list! Leah or Hannah it is!" Meredith smiled.  
"You know," Derek said. "If her name is Leah, then her initials would spell LEGS."  
"No way," Meredith said, thinking through the name in her head. "Okay, well I guess we just chose the name! By a process of elimination, her name is now Hannah, unless we think of anything else in the next ten weeks that somehow trumps that."  
"Hannah Emerald Grace Shepherd," Derek mused. "It sounds pretty perfect, don't you think?"  
"I do," Meredith agreed, sneaking a quick kiss over the dinner table. "I do."


	16. Chapter 16 Clear

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. I apologise for the lapse in updating. This is part one of a two part chapter and it does end on a cliff-hanger... I'll update it as soon as I can but no promises because the next chapter isn't written yet. Enjoy. **

Chapter Sixteen; Clear

It was one of those mornings where Meredith just didn't want to get out of bed. She rolled onto her side with difficulty, cradling her belly with one of her hands. Derek's side of the bed was empty, but she could smell something cooking and hear some faint noises coming from downstairs. She got out of bed and pulled on one of Derek's t-shirts over her belly, and a pair of his boxer shorts as well, before she padded downstairs.

Meredith smiled as she saw her husband cooking up a storm in the kitchen. She walked over and hugged him from behind, her belly pressing against his back.

"Morning," he smiled at her as he turned around and kissed her. "And good morning to you too Miss Hannah!"

He bent down and lifted up the t-shirt, kissing Meredith's stomach lightly.

"Ready for breakfast?" he asked.  
"We certainly are," Meredith smiled, getting a glass of juice from the fridge.  
"We have a cheddar omelette with a side of bacon and toast."  
"Happy Hannah," Meredith said, taking a big bite out of the omelette. "I don't know what I'm going to do once I'm not pregnant anymore and you have no more reasons to cook me breakfast."  
"I will always have a reason to cook you breakfast," Derek smiled, taking a big gulp of juice.  
"Suck up," Meredith replied, with a grin.  
"If you don't want me to cook you breakfast, all you have to do is say the word."

Meredith slid off the chair and walked over to Derek, straining up on her tiptoes to kiss him gently.

"I will always want you to cook me breakfast. Every single day for the rest of our lives. Even when we're smelly and old and senile, I'll be making you cook pancakes in the mornings. Okay?"  
"Okay," Derek agreed, hugging her close.

They drove into work together, skipping the ferry route as Meredith was still battling the occasional bout of morning sickness, and a moving boat did little to ease the nausea. She kept her eyes closed for the whole journey, rubbing her belly non-stop as it tightened sporadically from her Braxton Hicks contractions.

"Are you alright?" Derek asked, concerned.  
"Braxton Hicks," Meredith said. "Addison said that if I can still talk through them that they're not real contractions."

The next contraction took her breath away, but she said nothing, just rubbing her belly more firmly where she could feel Hannah's tiny foot stick out near her ribs.

"You should go see Addison," Derek told her. "She wouldn't mind."  
"It's fine Derek," Meredith said.

They pulled up outside the hospital, and walked in together holding hands.

"I have a mountain of paperwork sitting on my desk," Derek said with a sigh, kissing her gently. "I'll see you later, but page me if those contractions get worse. Okay?"  
"Okay, " Meredith agreed with a smile. "See you later Chief Shepherd."

Derek winked at her, and walked away with a grin on his face. Slowly Meredith made her way over to the nurses' station where she grabbed an armful of charts and flipped through, figuring out the best cases for the day. Just as she found an interesting plastics case, she heard footsteps behind her.

"Big Grey," Mark said with a smile. "How's the incubating going?"  
"Great," Meredith said, rolling her eyes. "I actually think that Hannah thinks I'm a bouncy house and she really does love kicking my internal organs. I was actually just coming to find you."  
"How can I be of service?" Mark asked.  
"Can I get in on this case?" Meredith asked, waving the chart under his nose.  
"Oh man, this is a doozy. The guy got acid thrown at him by a jealous ex-girlfriend and I'm reconstructing part of his face after a surgeon totally screwed up the skin grafts."  
"So I'm in?" Meredith asked.  
"Sorry Grey," Mark said. "It's going to be a long one and I know how often you take pee breaks these days."

He leaned over and rubbed her belly, grinning widely.

"I am not freaking Buddha," Meredith complained loudly. "Hands off. Seriously. You can't rub my belly for luck."  
"Later Grey," Mark said before he walked off with the chart, whistling softly.

After changing into her scrubs, Meredith found Cristina and they started on rounds together. It wasn't long before Meredith stopped in the middle of the corridor, rubbing her belly.  
"Come on Mama Bear," Cristina said. "Still got patients to tend to."  
"I'm coming," Meredith said, wincing.  
"Are you alright?" Cristina asked, suddenly serious. "You're not going into labour are you?"  
"They're just Braxton Hicks," Meredith replied. "Nothing serious. I'll go see Addison tonight if they don't go away."  
"Okay," Cristina replied. "Now hurry up before Karev tries to convince Teddy to let him scrub in on her valve replacement."

They walked down the hallway together, Meredith wincing again as she had a quick kick to the ribs.  
"Oh Hannah," she said quietly. "Let's calm down, alright?"

The morning passed slowly until Meredith finally convinced Derek to let her scrub in on an aneurysm he managed to squeeze in between his mounds of paperwork.  
"Thank you," she said quietly as they scrubbed in together. "I swear, people think I have the plague."  
"No," Derek laughed. "People know you're pregnant. They're trying to be nice, and give you a rest."  
"Well I don't want a rest, Derek!" Meredith replied heatedly, staring at him. "I want to freaking cut!"

They walked into the room together, and Derek got into position at the head of his patient.  
"Good morning people," he said, smiling around the room. "It's a beautiful day to save lives."

He moved deftly, removing the skull cap quickly and honing in on the aneurysm.  
"Can you pass me a clip?" Derek asked. "Second smallest, from the left."  
When Meredith didn't reply, he looked up at her, and saw her rubbing her belly.  
"Are you alright?" he asked her. "Meredith, are you alright?"  
"Yes," she gasped.

Meredith stood there, rubbing her belly from the pain. She felt a rush of fluid against her leg, and looked into Derek's eyes.  
"I think my water just broke," she murmured, before she suddenly went very pale and keeled over.

Derek ran the four steps it took to get to her, not even noticing as he slipped on the floor. He steadied himself, and pulled his hand back up.

"Oh crap," he muttered. "Page Addison Montgomery now!"

The scrub nurses all stood there, staring as Derek held his hand out in front of him – covered in the blood that was slowly surrounding Meredith. Derek picked her up gently, rushing next door into an empty OR and laying Meredith down on the table. He took her hand, kissing it gently, just as the doors burst open and Addison rushed in.

"What the hell happened?" she asked, taking in the sight before her.  
"I looked up from my patient's skull and she was rubbing her stomach," Derek said. "And then she just, crumpled to the floor."  
"Get him out of here," Addison ordered a male scrub nurse. "Now. And give me a damn scalpel!"

It wasn't until he was outside and waiting in the corridor that it all came rushing back to Derek. The blood on his hands reeked, like rust, and he gagged, throwing up. He fell to his knees and stayed there, watching people rush in and out of the OR, where his wife and baby were lying, helpless. Mark walked down the corridor and slid onto the ground, next to him.

"I don't know how to breathe in a world where she isn't," Derek said, his throat choked with tears.  
"You won't have to," Mark replied. "She'll be fine."

And at the moment, a scrub nurse rushed out, and Derek got a peek into the OR, just in time to see the machine flatline and Addison yell for the paddles.

"Clear!"


	17. Chapter 17 First Breath, Last Breath

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. This is part two of the two-part chapter, enjoy **

Chapter Seventeen; First Breath, Last Breath

Derek collapsed in the hallway once again, his back slamming heavily against the wall behind him. He was sure he was going to vomit again as his head started to spin. He vaguely noticed Mark getting up and going into the OR, before he lapsed into the darkness of his own thoughts. What was going to happen, he wandered, his mind racing through any number of terrible explanations for what had happened. She was haemorrhaging, that much he knew. But why? He hadn't a clue. It had been far too long since he'd done a rotation on the vagina squad, and he just couldn't understand what was happening. He sat there, for God knows how long, before he heard the door opposite creak open. He looked up and saw Mark standing there, staring at him.

"Derek," Mark said quietly.  
"Don't say it," Derek said, his voice breaking over the words. "If it's bad news, I don't want to hear it."  
"Derek, you have a daughter. And she's the most perfect baby I've ever seen. Well, apart from Sofia."  
"Is she okay?" Derek choked.  
"She's perfect," Mark nodded. "Tiny, but perfect."  
"Not the baby," Derek said. "Meredith. Is she okay?"  
"Addie's still trying to get the bleeding under control," Mark said quietly. "Her placenta sheared away from the uterine wall. Do you want to come see your baby?"  
"Yes," Derek breathed quietly.  
"I'll be back," Mark promised. "Just stay here, for a minute."

Mark walked back inside the OR once more, and once again Derek was left alone with his thoughts. It wasn't long though, before the door cracked open once more and Mark was standing there, a perfect pink bundle tucked in his arms.

"Congratulations, man," Mark said, handing the baby over to Derek's arms. "You're a daddy."

Derek looked down at the tiny baby in his arms, and in that moment he felt overwhelming love. He felt like he'd taken his last breath as a man, not responsible for much more than himself, and he was now taking his first breath as a daddy, whose sole purpose was to care for the tiny creature in his arms. He continued to stare, at the mass of spiky black hair covering her head, the tiny pink fingernails and the rosebud lips, curled into a perfect pout. She was, just as Mark had said, perfect.

"Does she have a name?" Mark asked softly.  
"Kind of," Derek said. "We'd decided on a name before... but now, I don't know."

Derek stood in the hallway, staring at the perfect baby in his arms for a long time, not even noticing that Mark had left once again until the door burst open. Mark had a giant grin on his face.

"Addie got it. She's got it Derek," he grinned. "Goddamn she's good. Mer is going to be fine."

Derek breathed out, tears silently streaming down his face.

The next hour passed slowly, as Derek paced the hallway with his perfect baby still asleep in his arms. Finally, he got news from the OR – Addison had finished stitching her up, and Meredith was going to be transferred to recovery. He fell in step alongside Addison, reaching over to Meredith to stroke her hair gently.

"She's going to be okay?" Derek confirmed quietly.  
"She'll be fine, Derek," Addison assured him. "She'll be awake within the next two to three hours, and then she'll recover fully in the next four to six weeks."  
"Thank you Addison," Derek said, stopping in the hallway to hug Addison awkwardly.

As he held her close, he heard a quiet squawk and looked down to find the baby, looking up at him.

"Sorry bub," he said with a slight smile. "Didn't mean to squash you there!"  
"Congratulations Derek," Addison said with a genuine smile. "She's beautiful."

Derek sat at Meredith's bedside for the next two hours, with the baby curled happily in his arms, drifting in and out of sleep. Just as he was about to fall asleep once more, he saw Meredith's arm move and he sat upright quickly, waiting for any other movement.

"Mer?" he asked gently, rubbing her arm.

She winced and turned her head before finally opening her eyes and blinking, slowly. She turned to look at Derek and his breath caught in his throat when her sparkling green eyes held his.

"What happened?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and catching sight of the IV in the back of her hand.  
"Placental abruption," he said quietly. "Addie fixed you up. You gave me such a scare, Mer."  
"And the baby?" she asked with tears in her eyes.  
"She's right here," he said gently, sitting on the edge of Meredith's bed and passing the baby over.  
"Oh," Meredith said, her eyes filling with more tears. "Oh Derek. She's more beautiful than I ever imagined. We made her. How did we make her?"  
"She's pretty perfect," Derek smiled.

They sat in silence for awhile, just staring at the perfect little human being they created together. The baby finally stirred, and started to cry.

"She's probably hungry," Derek said quietly. "The nurses wanted to give her a bottle of formula before but I know how set you were on exclusively breastfeeding, so I held them off. But if you're not up to it, I can call them back."  
"I'm fine Derek," Meredith said, shifting awkwardly up into a sitting position. "Can you pass me that pillow?"

She tucked the pillow under their baby's tiny body and undid her hospital gown carefully. She helped the baby latch and then gave a sigh.

"I think she's got it," Meredith smiled. "She's a fast learner."  
"She's got good genes," Derek replied. "So she's got a fighting chance of being a genius."  
"Have you named her yet?" Meredith asked suddenly, looking up at Derek. "Did you sign the birth certificate?"  
"Not without you, my love," Derek said with a smile, reaching out to stroke Mer's hair. "It just didn't feel right to do it without you."  
"I don't think she feels like a Hannah," Meredith said, looking down at the baby. "But I do have another suggestion."  
"Which is?" Derek prompted.  
"Adeline," Meredith said with a smile. "It's a name I've always liked, and it'd be after Addison as well. Without her, neither she nor I would be here. And so it's not too similar we could call her Ellie, instead of Addie."  
"Adeline," Derek said quietly. "I love it."  
"Adeline Emerald Grace Shepherd," Meredith grinned. "Welcome to the world, Miss Adeline."

And on that note, Adeline unlatched from Meredith's breast and her lips curled into a small smile as she drifted off to sleep once more.  
"I think she approves," Derek smiled.  
"I think she does," Meredith confirmed.

**So that's the end of the two-part chapter! Thoughts on the birth, the name, anything? I'd appreciate any constructive criticism! I'll be wrapping this story up in a few chapters, but if I get enough feedback, I'd consider doing a sequel that's set a few years down the track as Adeline grows up (along with any other siblings she may have!), so let me know if you'd be interested in reading! Thank-you!**


	18. Chapter 18 Home Sweet Home

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

Chapter Eighteen; Home Sweet Home

Meredith woke up with a start, her motherly instincts in full force. It had only been three days since Adeline was born, but she was already attune to her every need. Derek had marvelled at the way that Meredith had taken to motherhood. Despite all her fears, it was as natural as breathing to her and everybody who came to visit commented on how serene Meredith seemed. Their friends had all come to visit at least twice a day, and Adeline had already had her fair share of cuddles with them all, but Addison hadn't come in yet, trying to respect their privacy. Addison walked down the hall, knocking on door 108 softly, poking her head in.

"Ready for a visitor?" Addison asked with a smile.  
"We definitely are," Meredith grinned. "She's been waiting to meet the woman who saved her. Would you like to hold her?"  
"I'd love to," Addison admitted, taking Ellie carefully and cradling her gently.

Addie sat for a while, taking in Ellie's beauty, her beautiful ivory skin and the perfect pink of her lips.

"She really is beautiful," Addison murmured, stroking the soft cap of her hair.  
"She takes after her namesake," Meredith said with a sly smile.  
"I didn't even ask," Addison laughed. "What is Ellie short for?"  
"Adeline," Meredith smiled as Addison's eyes widened. "After you."  
"I, you... I don't know what to say," Addison admitted, her eyes turned straight back to Adeline, asleep in her arms.  
"It just felt right," Meredith confessed. "Without you, the chances are that neither I nor Ellie would be here."  
"Thank-you," Addison murmured.

Derek came back from the cafeteria with a skinny chai latte and a flat white to find his wife, daughter and ex-wife all sitting up in bed, chatting happily. Eight years ago, when Addison walked in and referred to Meredith as the "woman who was screwing her husband", he could never have imagined that one day he would be in the same room as both of these women, and nobody would be fighting. He smiled wryly, and walked into the room.

"Hey Addie," he said. "We were just about to head home. Mer's fine to be discharged, isn't she?"  
"Absolutely. I'll go sign the papers then bring them back and you guys can get out of here."  
"Fantastic," Meredith smiled. "I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again."  
"Just be careful getting in and out of it," Addison told her. "With that c-section scar you're going to have a bit of pain. And remember what I told you before... four weeks at least."  
"Four weeks," Meredith smirked. "I'll see you soon Addison. Thanks."

Addie turned on her Jimmy Choo heels, smiled at Derek and left the room, leaving the two new parents and their tiny little bundle.

"Skinny chai latte," Derek said, handing one of the coffee cups to Meredith.  
"With honey?" Meredith asked taking a sip.  
"With honey," Derek smiled.  
"It's not as good as coffee, but it's better than nothing," Meredith said, poking her tongue out at Ellie.  
"So what's going to take four weeks?" Derek asked, shifting the conversation back.  
"Oh that," Meredith grinned. "None of your business."  
"So now my current wife and my ex-wife have secrets, huh?" Derek asked, pouting.  
"Oh don't be like that," Meredith smiled, poking him gently. "She was just saying that even though all the literature says to wait six weeks to have sex after birth, four is fine as long as I feel up to it."

Derek raised his eyebrows, and grinned.  
"Don't worry," he laughed. "You know how much I have trouble keeping my hands off you, but I'm sure that after all this time another four weeks, or six weeks, or however long you need, I can handle it."  
"And that's why I love you," Meredith replied, kissing him gently.

A few hours later they were finally leaving the hospital. Ellie was tucked into her car-seat and Meredith was in the mandated wheelchair.

"This is the most embarrassing thing ever," Meredith told Derek. "Worse than the time I talked to Addison while I was on morphine, worse than Callie walking in after the dirty prom sex and worse than fainting in the OR."  
"Hospital policy," Derek laughed. "Don't worry, we'll be outside in a second and you can stand up."

They finally got into the car, and drove to the ferry. They parked the car and then Meredith gently took Ellie out of her car seat, and walked up to the top deck.

"This is one of your daddy's favourite things Miss Ellie," Meredith said quietly. "Apart from you."  
"And your mummy," Derek chimed in. "My two favourite girls, and ferry boats."  
"And brain surgery," Meredith added.  
"And single malt scotch," Derek smiled.  
"And sex," Meredith laughed.  
"Please don't corrupt our daughter already," Derek teased, gasping and covering Ellie's ears.  
"Is it true, or not," Meredith grinned.  
"You got me," Derek laughed. "It's definitely true."

They got home, and Lucy was jumping all over Meredith, glad to have her home. Meredith navigated around the very excited dog, and sat down on the couch, holding Ellie safely in her arms.

"Lucy, sit," she said firmly and the dog sat quickly. "Good girl."

Meredith gently held Ellie out for Lucy's interrogation, and Lucy sniffed her gently, whined once and then sat again.

"This is Adeline," Meredith said to Lucy, ruffling the fur on her ears. "She's gonna be around here for quite a while Lucy, so you better get used to her."

When Derek finally got in the door with all of Ellie's things, he walked into the living room to find Meredith asleep on the couch with Ellie in her arms, and Lucy asleep on the floor with her head resting on Mer's feet. He grinned, happy to see his little family all together, before he walked over and joined them, snuggling up next to Meredith.

It wasn't until Ellie let out a cry that they all stirred awake, finding that it was late in the afternoon. Meredith started to feed Ellie while Derek walked into the kitchen to make something for dinner.

"Pasta alright Mer?" he called out.  
"Sure," she replied softly.

Meredith still couldn't believe that the beautiful little girl in her arms was really hers. It had been such a long journey to get here, but now that she was, there's nothing she would do to change any of it. Adeline was her baby, hers and Derek's, and they would never let her go.  
"I love you Adeline," she whispered gently. "So much. And I'm so glad you're finally here."

Derek ate dinner one-handed, refusing to put Ellie down because all he wanted was more snuggles with his beautiful daughter. Together he and Meredith bathed Ellie before changing her gently into a soft pink onesie and some pink socks, and putting her down to sleep in the bassinet beside their bed. Meredith got awkwardly into bed, wincing a little as she pulled on her scar.  
"Are you alright?" Derek asked gently, getting into bed next to her.  
"I'm perfect," Meredith replied, settling herself in Derek's arms, watching Ellie's chest rise and fall with each breath. "Absolutely perfect."

**I'm predicting just one (or at the very most two!) more chapter(s) before I bring this story to the close, and I was wondering whether you guys would just like the last chapter to be a normal chapter continuation, or an epilogue? The epilogue wouldn't explore too much, as I'd like to keep some of the surprises for the sequel, so let me know if there's anything in particular you'd like to see happen As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	19. Chapter 19 Decisions

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

**This chapter will be the last before the epilogue (which will jump forward just one year). The main reason I added this chapter was for a little bit of closure on a few loose ends and being able to see more Meredith in mum mode, because I love exploring that side of her character. **

Chapter Nineteen; Decisions

They'd been home for two weeks already, but Meredith felt like Ellie had only been born yesterday. Every day Meredith noticed changes, in the way that she stretched out a little more, or how she opened and closed her fists, spreading her fingers like tiny starfish. Every time she looked at Adeline, Meredith fell a little more in love. She loved the little curl of hair that fell right across her forehead, she loved the little strawberry-shaped birth mark on her left ankle, and she loved the way that Ellie looked up at her, in absolute wonder, when she was done feeding.

"Are you absolutely sure that you're fine for me to go back to work?" Derek asked softly.  
"Positively, absolutely sure," Meredith replied. "Go back to your chiefly duties, I'm sure Richard's sick of all your paperwork already."  
"So am I," Derek groaned. "I don't want to leave you, or Ellie."  
"We'll be fine. If you're a good boy, we might even come to the hospital to meet you for a lunch date."  
"Both of my favourite girls and a lunch date?" Derek asked with a grin. "What could be better?"  
"Oh I'm sure I can think of a few things," Meredith laughed. "But apparently we have to wait just two more weeks for those things."  
"I'd wait a hell of a lot more than two weeks for you," Derek laughed. "Though I'm glad that I don't have to."  
"Don't worry," Meredith said, kissing him gently. "I'm hoping these two weeks pass very quickly as well."

Derek kissed Adeline gently, and smiled at Meredith before he walked out the door, leaving Meredith with a sleeping baby and nothing to do for the rest of the day. Meredith flicked on the baby monitor and shoved the handpiece into her pocket while she wandered around the house, searching for something to do. She did two loads of washing, ordered the groceries online and was half-way through stacking the dishwasher when she heard Adeline let out a quiet squawk. Meredith sighed, finally, something to occupy her time.

She walked over to the bassinet and picked up Ellie gently, smiling and stroking her soft hair.  
"Hey baby girl," she grinned. "Nice of you to wake up and keep me company."  
Ellie just stared, unblinking at her mother, while Meredith continued to chatter to her.  
"Oh, I think somebody's got a present in their diaper," Meredith laughed, wrinkling her nose. "Let's go give you a bath and then we can get ready to go visit Daddy."

After her bath, Ellie smelt just like Meredith, of lavender, and Meredith dressed her in a soft pink onesie with matching socks and a tiny hat. She snuggled her close as she packed up the Baby Bjorn carrier, the pram and the diaper bag into her car. Derek had taken the Jeep to work, leaving her with the Porsche, as he insisted it was clearly safer for Adeline.

She bundled Adeline safely into her car seat and then drove the longer route to the hospital, bypassing the ferry for a time when she and Derek could together take Ellie for her first boat ride. They arrived at the hospital and Meredith settled Ellie into the Baby Bjorn, feeling her snuggling happily against her chest. Meredith slung the diaper bag over her arm and made her way into the hospital, walking straight to Derek's office.

"Chief Shepherd?" she smiled as she stuck her head in the door.  
"Hey!" Derek said with a grin, his eyes lighting up. "Come on in."  
"So I know we're a bit early," Meredith said. "But Ellie's due for a feed so I figured I could do that before we head down to the cafeteria."

Derek closed the blinds and they sat side by side on the couch as Meredith carefully helped Adeline latch, and smiled as she started sucking strongly.  
"She's a good feeder," she smiled at Derek.  
"She's got a good teacher," Derek replied, hugging Meredith gently.

Ellie finally unlatched and Derek burped her before they walked down to the cafeteria together. Taking a seat at the closest table, Meredith watches as Derek manoeuvres through the cafeteria, getting a plate of lasagne, a salad and two bottles of water, all while holding Ellie safe in the crook of his arm.

"He's a natural," says a voice from behind her.

Meredith turned to find Bailey standing there, a smile on her lips.

"He sure is," Meredith smiled, standing up.  
"Congratulations Grey," Bailey said. "You did great. That little girl is adorable."  
"Thank-you," Meredith smiled.

Bailey stands there for a moment, watching Derek look down lovingly at his baby girl, then snaps back to attention.

"That's enough of that," she muttered. "I'll see you in a few weeks Grey, and I expect you to be on your game."  
"I know you do," Meredith replied, with a slightly anxious smile.

She sat back down at the table, resting her chin on her hands. She didn't even want to think of leaving Ellie yet. She was so little, so fragile. Just as she started thinking more about it, Derek pushed a tray in front of her.

"Lasagne?" he offered, taking the salad for himself.  
"Thank-you," Meredith said quietly, pursing her lips.  
"You okay?" Derek prodded, taking a bite of his salad.  
"I guess," Meredith said, cutting her lasagne into tiny pieces. "I was just thinking about what I'm going to do in four weeks, when I'm supposed to be back at work."  
"You don't have to go back to work straight away," Derek replied. "You can have as much time off as you need."  
"And then I'll fall behind," Meredith replied. "I'm only a year out from becoming an attending, I really don't want to screw this up."  
"You won't," Derek told her, putting his fork down and looking straight at Meredith. "It's fine, Meredith. You could just take an extra six months off, and then you'd get some extra time with Adeline, and you'd only be half a year behind. In the grand scheme of things, six months is nothing."  
"It doesn't matter," Meredith said, shaking her head. "I'll think about it later."

They resumed normal chatter, but Derek could tell that Meredith's thoughts were otherwise occupied. He left it for the time being, knowing that pushing her too far would only make things worse, not better. Instead, he talked about mundane things, like the ever-growing pile of paperwork on his desk, and how Ellie's eyes looked like they were slightly darker than yesterday, and that he was thinking about cooking chicken parmigiana for dinner tonight. In response, Meredith smiled and murmured "yes" and "no", in all the wrong places. Lunch was over quickly, and Meredith gave him a tight hug, and a soft kiss before she bundled Ellie back into her arms and got into the car to drive home.

When Derek got home from work, he found Meredith stretched out on the couch asleep, with Adeline asleep on her chest, and an episode of Judge Judy blaring on the television. He switched the sound off, and sat down on the adjacent couch, just as Meredith's eyes fluttered over.

"Hey," she said with a smile. "How was the rest of your day?"  
"Not as relaxing as yours," he laughed. "How's the princess been this afternoon?"  
"Perfect," Meredith replied, running a hand through Ellie's soft dark hair. "Can you put her in the crib, while I run up to take a shower?"  
"My pleasure," Derek replied.

He walked upstairs slowly, rocking Ellie gently in his arms. He lowered her into her crib, tucking her safely up in a soft pink blanket, and turning on the baby monitor before he left the room quietly. He walked into their bedroom to hear the water in the shower already on. He shed his clothes quickly, stepping into the steam to find Meredith.

"Sorry to tell you buddy," Meredith joked. "But there's another two weeks before anything bendy is going on in this shower."  
"That's okay," Derek replied, running his hands through his hair. "We'll have something else to celebrate by then anyway."  
"What?" Meredith asked absent-mindedly, rubbing shampoo into her hair.  
"I will have finished being Chief of Surgery," Derek said quietly.

Meredith stood still suddenly, and looked up into his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"You're kidding, right?" she asked. "Why would you do that?"  
"If I'm just the Head of Neurosurgery, I'll have a more flexible schedule," he explained. "And I was going to suggest that if we both cut our hours back, we could each care for Ellie half the time. That way you'll only be six months behind on your attending status, and we'll both get some more time with Ellie."  
"You didn't have to do this Derek," Meredith said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I know how badly you wanted to be Chief."  
"I thought I wanted it badly too," Derek said, wrapping his arms around her. "But not nearly as badly as I want to spend time getting to know Miss Adeline. You, and Ellie, are my number one priority. And this is what's best for her, and for you too. I know we can make this work."  
"I love you," Meredith breathed, hugging him tight and kissing him hard.  
"Sorry to tell you darling," Derek teased. "But as you said to me not two minutes ago, there's another two weeks before anything bendy is going on in this shower."  
"Shut up and kiss me," Meredith replied, knowing in that moment that whatever life gave them, they could handle it. Together. Derek, Meredith and Adeline Shepherd.

**Next chapter is the last, and also a mini epilogue. It'll be jumping forward only one year into the future, to Ellie's first birthday party. Please review!**


	20. Chapter 20 Birthday Surprises

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. **

**This is the epilogue and the last chapter of this story! I may add one more Author's Note on the end of this story once I publish the first chapter of the sequel, just to let people know. Enjoy!**

Also, I'd like to say a very sincere thank-you to my good friend Eve. She supported and encourage me throughout the writing of this story, and without her, it would probably have been left a few chapters ago, with no ending. So thanks Eve! 3 

Chapter Twenty; Birthday Surprises

When Derek woke up, the other side of the bed was empty and he could hear the shower in the bathroom. He was surprised, because it was still early, but a smile quickly grew across his face. If he hurried, he decided, maybe they could fit in the bendy thing just once before Ellie woke up. He walked into the bathroom, stripping off his boxer shorts as he went, and stepped straight into the steam.

"Morning," he said with a smile as Meredith whipped around.  
"Hey," she said distractedly, not looking at him.  
"I was going to suggest that maybe we take advantage of the time before the birthday girl wakes up," Derek whispered, running hands down Meredith's back.

Meredith opened her mouth just as the baby monitor lit up and Ellie's babbling came through loudly into the bathroom.

"I have to get her," Meredith said, kissing him quickly and then getting out of the shower, still not meeting his eye level.

What have I done now, Derek thought to himself, standing alone in the shower. He shrugged it off and showered quickly, not wanting to miss out on any of his daughter's first birthday.

Meredith walked into the nursery wrapped in a towel and opened the curtains before turning to the crib.

"Happy Birthday baby girl!" she said excitedly, lifting Ellie out of her crib.

Ellie grinned up at her, and Meredith's heart melted.  
"Mimi," Ellie said, patting Meredith's shirt. "Mi."  
"Milk," Meredith smiled. "Anything for you, baby girl."

They sat together in the rocking chair, and Meredith looked down at her little girl in wonder. The past year had been difficult, full of days that were tiring and stressful, but worth it all the while. Ellie had grown a lot, her eyes had become the same deep blue of Derek's eyes, but her curly hair had lightened considerably to a sandy blonde. Everybody Meredith passed told her how much Ellie looked like her, and she loved it.

The morning passed slowly, as both Meredith and Derek enjoyed watching Ellie have both of her parents' full attention. It wasn't often that they got the day off together, and so Ellie was in absolute heaven. While she hadn't quite mastered walking, she could stand by herself, balancing, for a minute at a time and she enjoyed showing off to her captive audience.

"Yay Ellie!" Derek cheered.

Finally Ellie was surrounded by piles of wrapping paper when she started to yawn.

"Nap time Miss Adeline," Meredith said with a smile, picking her up and cuddling her.

Derek started cleaning up the wrapping paper, leaving all of the presents out in the middle of the room for Ellie to enjoy once she woke up. When Meredith returned, he stood up and smiled at her.

"What do you want for lunch?"  
"I'm not hungry," Meredith said, passing him by into the kitchen.  
"Mer," Derek said softly, following her. "Have I done something?"  
"Nope," she replied, grabbing the car keys.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing Derek," she said loudly, slamming a drawer shut. "I'm going to the store to grab the last few things for the party this afternoon. I'll be back soon."

With that, she walked straight out the front door and took off down the driveway in her Jeep. Derek ran his hands through his hair and scratched his chin thoughtfully. He honestly had no clue what her problem was, but he figured it was best that he just start to get all the party things ready. He'd baked Ellie's birthday cake the day before, and iced it. All he had left to do today was put the mini quiches in the oven and put out the decorations.

An hour passed, and then two, and Derek was getting concerned. The party was due to start in fifteen minutes, but Meredith wasn't home yet. Balloons were tied to the mailbox out front, the decorations were all up and Ellie had woken from her nap and changed into her special party dress. There was nothing left to do but wait. He paced the living room, watching Ellie play with her new toys, and then finally heard tires on the gravel outside. He opened the door to find Meredith walking towards the house.

"I thought you were going to the grocery store," he said as she approached with empty hands.  
"Oh, I got distracted," she said, still not meeting his gaze. "Sorry. Do you need any help?"  
"It's all done," he replied quietly. "Mer, I'm worried. Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine," she replied, pushing past him and into the house.

Derek gave up, and hoped that the party at least would go smoothly. People started to turn up quickly, and soon their house was full of all their friends. Derek smiled and welcomed people in, while Meredith stayed on the edges of group, her eyes on Ellie the whole time. When it was time for the cake, she finally stepped forward and took Ellie onto her lap while Derek carried in the serving tray.

"Happy Birthday to you," she sang quietly as the others started to join in. "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Adeline. Happy Birthday to you."

They all laughed when Ellie sneezed and the candle snuffed out, and Derek finally saw a genuine smile on Meredith's face when Ellie managed to spread pink frosting all through her hair, and over her face. Derek sat down with a piece of cake, and watched Meredith carefully. Just as he was about to try and talk to her once more, Cristina walked over and grabbed his arm, pulling him into the kitchen.

"What did you do?" she demanded.  
"What do you mean?"  
"What did you do to Meredith? You two haven't been making gushy-love eyes all afternoon, and she just looks weird. So what the hell did you do?"  
"I don't know, okay?" Derek said exasperatedly. "I have no clue. She's been weird all day."  
"Well you better fix it, because I need somebody to bitch to and God knows that she's not going to be able to withstand my bitching in that mood."  
"It's not like I want her to be this way, Cristina," Derek hissed. "You think I want her to be mad at me?"  
"Honestly Shepherd, I couldn't care less what you want. Just fix her. Please."

With that, Cristina turned on her heel and left Derek in the kitchen, rubbing his hands through his hair. He barely noticed as people left slowly and only realised when he turned around and only he, Meredith and Ellie were left in the room. He opened his mouth to speak, just as Meredith turned around quickly and picked up Ellie.

"I should go give her a bath," Meredith said quickly, leaving the room.

Time passed slowly as Derek pulled down decorations and threw out all the leftover food, finally stopping when the room was clean. He walked upstairs to find Ellie sleeping soundly in her crib, her hand curled around her new stethoscope that Cristina bought her. He grinned, touched her hair softly and then kissed her before quietly backing out of the room.

"Mer," he called softly. "Meredith."

He walked through into their bedroom and was about to leave again when he heard a quiet noise coming from the bathroom. He pushed the door open softly, to find Meredith leaning up against the sink, crying.

"Oh Mer," he said, moving towards her, trying to hold her close.  
"Leave me alone!" she said angrily, pushing him away.  
"I don't understand," Derek said helplessly. "What did I do?"  
"What did you do?" Meredith said angrily. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"  
"I feel like I should be apologising but I don't know what for," Derek said sadly.  
"I'M PREGNANT, DEREK," she screamed, before walking out the door and stomping downstairs.

Derek was left in the bathroom, his eyes wide with shock. Of all the things that had run through his mind, he hadn't even considered this possibility. He knew that it was tough with Ellie, but he had faith that he and Meredith could handle another baby, if only he could calm her down enough to get her to realise that. He took a few minutes to breathe before he finally went to find Meredith once more.

Meredith was sitting on the couch, her knees tucked up under her, and she was rubbing her eyes while tears streamed down her face. Derek carefully sat next to her, not touching, just sitting.

"It'll be okay, Mer," he said gently. "We can do this. It's okay. I know you're not happy about this, but I promise you that we can do this. Together."  
"You think," Meredith said, looking up at him with watery eyes. "You think I'm not happy?"  
"You've been ignoring me all day, and now you're in tears. I don't think you're over the moon," Derek said lightly. "It's not a problem Mer, it'll just take time to get used to the idea."  
"Oh Derek," Meredith said, reaching out to touch his arm. "I am happy."  
"You are?"  
"I am really happy. Deliriously happy. Ecstatic. If I had a thesaurus, I could more specifically explain exactly how happy I am."  
"So the tears?"  
"And the anger? Can I blame it on the hormones? I guess, honestly, even though I'm really happy, I'm still overwhelmed. By the time this baby's due, I'll only have just finished my residency. I'll be almost due to become an attending, but by that stage I'll have a toddler and a newborn. It's all a bit different Derek. I've gone from being dark and twisty, to bright and shiny, to still a little broken. I've gone through Daddy issues and break-ups and a tonne of other things to get to this point. And I am so happy, Derek, I really am. But those issues will always be a part of who I am, and I don't think there'll ever be a time when I know without a doubt that I can handle any problem I face."

Meredith looked up at Derek, his eyes widened with shock, and a faint glimmer of happiness.

"I'm happy," she said simply, and finally slid into his lap, leaning back into a hug.  
"I know," Derek told her gently. "Even when you don't know, I know. I know that you can do this. I have faith in you, Meredith Grey, and I always will. I love you."  
"And I love you," Meredith replied.

They kissed, soft, quick, like a habit. Like they would do it every day for the rest of their lives. And Derek's hand moved over Meredith's stomach, where their baby grew. And together, they smiled.

**TA-DAH! That is officially the end of "Chief Shepherd". I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. There will be a sequel, so stay tuned and hopefully I'll have the first chapter up in the next few weeks. Thanks again for reading, and PLEASE review!**

- Nikki. 


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